- As the sun rises from the far eastern horizon, so will her hopes together; embracing another new day to soar through the endless skies only to fall past the distinct line that seperates earth and heaven to pave way for the diamond strewn velvet night sky where her dreams will take its rightful place...
Agony.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
i feel like crap.
all this studying is making me feel like shit, isolated and wanting to find fault with people arnd me.
i hate myself for this. i hate being extremely emotional & sensitive. esp so during the exams period.
my head feels giddy. i just wanna doze off. but i know i can't, i can't, i can't.....
maybe i put too much stress on myself. wateva.
still got bout 3 more topics to cover. the reason why i'm in the rush to cover so many topics before hand is bcos: i dun wanna do last min study! i'm sick of the stress, the anxiety.
i've got like one huge emotional baggageto carry. ALONE. i know i've got really good frens who will be willing to share tt baggage. but, i can't. not tt i dun wanna share. but its hard. its me. i'm weird. sometimes i love isolation, yet sometimes i abhor it. i'm a big contradiction. a big laughing joke.
as for him, he's terribly busy at work and swimming and dive and i-dun-know-wat-else. we r seeing each other so infrequently. maybe someone cld educate my boyfren on some TIME MGMT skills? he's so tired everyday too. it really bothers me. as for sharing tt emotional baggage with him? highly unlikely. he's tooo far away :) perhaps i shld just give up on us. leave things the way it is. and waits for tt big word: STAGNATION!
tears are my consolation.
i shld just disappear. .into a thousand, million, fragmented pieces.
(dun ask me wats wrong. i'm just having one of those horrible mood swings.)
