- As the sun rises from the far eastern horizon, so will her hopes together; embracing another new day to soar through the endless skies only to fall past the distinct line that seperates earth and heaven to pave way for the diamond strewn velvet night sky where her dreams will take its rightful place...
BEAUTIFUL GARDEN. NOT!
Monday, November 13, 2006
i'm dying from a splitting headache. like right now.
its either the weather's been horrible, or its just me.
my tongue is dry, my skin is dry, my lips is bloody red, and my head is killing me this few days.
and my legs are aching due to working full shifts again after so long for the past two days. but i kinda like such torture. LOL.
exams are over, in the midst of holidays. so i'm now planning one whole list of stuffs to do. -rock climb cert -some important documents -jet skii (pala says there is!!) -wake board -learn swim -shopping! (targeted lotsa clothes heh.) -haw par villa, zoo, sentosa -buy xmas presents -pack my wardrobe and school books -salsa (more or less decided) -blading -ktv -watch that serial shows -and after so long , i've not taken tt yamaha final grade exam. mum's been nagging. -and others (not forgetting work now and then to earn that income to support sucha lifestyle. heh) so many things to do, so little time! confirm gonna forsake some :(
school related - ( shyt, the criteria for degree with distinction has gone up, like u gotta get distinctions for every module every semester without fail before u can qualify for it! like wth..and they let us know of such changes during the 3rd sem?! freak.)
so far its 1 high dist, 3 dist, and 4 credits for the last two sem. 1 high dist can compensates for 1 credit. so i'm lacking by like 3 credits? so i gotta get 3 high ds without any credits for the coming results and final sem next year. like wth. chances are slim. very slim... if its the old point systems, its nothing much to worry. would have hit it just nice. now its like...!!!!! ITS SO FREAKING UNFAIR TO CHANGE THE POINTS SYSTEM NOW, COS WE'VE HAD ALREADY ROUGHLY ESTIMATED, MADE WAY FOR ALLOWANCES JUST TO HIT THAT DESIRED POINTS. CRAP. i cant imagine if i get a pass. thats like so totally gone. maybe i should have more faith and look on the brighter side of things.
as for work, its really fun and crappy working with those people. hope wendy's happy at her new job. and i cant wait for potluck at her house! ppl remember its 5th december!!
i''ve been trying to get myself very busy for the past few days and also the coming weeks so that i wun miss him. somehow it works so far. practically reached home dead tired. still somehow he always appear now and then. but somehow it doesn't seems as hurtful as that period. many people asked: "hows u and him?" thanks for the concern, but sometimes i really dunno how to reply. maybe like things are kinda "not sure" maybe cos we haven talk bout it. and i need some answers. kinda glad that he said to meet him on the 29 nov, right after he had his last paper. and really appreciate those wee hours "good night" messages from him occasionally. short and simple but can sense his presence and concern even though he's busy and most prolly tired at sucha times. yet that kind of "i actually bothered to msg u cos i remember u b4 i sleep" u know that kinda feeling that warms u up inside? somehow maybe he's beginning to understand a lil. and more sensitive.
i dun ask for much, just that the lil things i'm concern about, i really do hope he'll do it. anyway tt's not really the time to talk about it now.
deep inside, guess i'm hoping for his exams to be over quickly..so i can have my boyfriend back again from evil school and exams. yet, another part of me is kinda scared. kinda scared that i'll blank out, or jus wanna escape from reality, or perhaps like nothings really wrong, just that i need to be more understanding.
remember nizam told me once :"if i love someone, i'm gonna love 90%, and take back 10%..so i've something to fall back on." its like a knockout statement, no one ever said that before. and i'm thankful to God for having nizam arnd at that time. its like somehow its true, and it really works.
i'm trying to take back 30 % now. that serious. cos i dunno wanna hurt and fall. maybe i'm a tad too sensitive and easily hurt, so i need more protection. hahahaha.
but i promise, after that talk or compromise or watever, i gonna give 95 % :))))))) if it works out thats it.
right now, just really praying hard for him to score well, take good care of himself, and that temper of his to be "milder" esp under such stressful conditions. at least he's got one close buddy Mr Garvin around too..so hope tt at least there's someone arnd him to remind him to take care of himself...just dun do the opposite and make him more angry. HEH HEH.
after all, i do miss my boyfriend lots. i miss the laughters, the movies, his piss-off face, that cheeky grin, that tired face, the hand-holdings, the hugs, the crappiness and many more.
lastly, happy birthday to NATALIE JEAN HO! will see her at her party tmr at sentosa. soundds like fun :)
and i really hope the other just stops all his nonsense.
i think i'm getting quite sick of my fringe grow fringe grow! heh.
