- As the sun rises from the far eastern horizon, so will her hopes together; embracing another new day to soar through the endless skies only to fall past the distinct line that seperates earth and heaven to pave way for the diamond strewn velvet night sky where her dreams will take its rightful place...
FIND UR LIFE, UR WAY.
Monday, January 15, 2007
okay, 'that' kinda hits me right smack in my face. today. that kinda moral thinking is somewhere inside my mind, but only today i seem to really grasp the full impact of it. i realise that everyone of us is not perfect. OKAY, THIS IS THE PART WHERE U MIGHT GO LIKE - DUH. but certain stuffs tt happened just now makes me realise that everyone's imperfect in their own ways. its like u know the theory, the moral reasoning and such. but it never really leave a deep impact on u. surprisingly, i do feel a lil kind of affected. no one person could be truely happy on earth. its like even when life seems to go perfectly at one point, and u feel like everything's in ur favour, 'some stuffs' must always come along to screw it all up, and leave u all drained and washed out. that really sucks big time. and to look on the brighter side, we take it as a lesson learnt. but if the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow could never be truely achieved, than there's really no meaning in pursuing true happiness. even the things that we're contented with, its never gonna stay for long. life's like a clock slowly ticking away, full of uncertainty, changes, ups and downs. when u fight so hard during the downs to find the ups, u know tt the fight is not truely over. cos its like a terrible vicious cycle, with the downs to revisit us again.
so what do we do? treasure the moments i guess. but how do u treasure the moments? if i lived like tomoro is my last day, i wouldn't go to school, i would not get myself caught up in this huge rat race, working endlessly to survive, studying hard for better prospects, earning tt degree hoping tt it will get us somewhere in the future. okay all this sounds really pessimistic. but at certain times, it kinda gets a lil overbearing.
despite all these short-comings of life, God creates one GREAT thing thou, which could overrides all pain and suffering, all unhappiness. it is call- LOVE. without love, people are like machines caught up in the rat race. everybody needs love. family-love, relationships-love, friends-love, even universal-love. and when rela-love screws up, dun give up hope. just keep on searching; for God is good enuff to create the right one tt is meant for u. i know met the one tt i'm truely happy with for now. although he makes me mad, upset, dissappointed and tears at times, i know this is one fight which i will not give up easily. sometimes silly pride and all makes me wanna gives up everything and move on during quarrels and unhappiness, but there's that lil voice in me pulling me back, and he seems to always pull me back with all sort of explanations, apology and his uncanny way of making me feel tt i'm the one who's unreasonable and makes me feels guitly in the end :( he makes me happy just by being happy himself, he makes me feels right, and when he's in tt foul mood, i really feel like smacking him right hard across his head,but i know i'll still stick it out thru the bad times. yest, he just told me tt relationships should be bout happy times only, and so he dun wanna show me tt bad side of him. but i wanna stick right thru the good and the bad. sometimes i wish tt he would not be too overtly concern bout the way i feel. if he gets all moody, horrible and stuffs during stressful periods, i want him to trust tt i can take it. maybe in the past, i showed him tt i'm incapable of being understanding enough, and often flared up easily. but i'm slowly learning and changing. i do hope tt he'll trust tt i'm capable of such changes. however, sadly, if God's plans are tt we're not meant for each other, than sooner or later the inevitable will happen. this is what i believe in. i believe in fate aka God's plan :) no amount of hard work could make us stick it thru if God doesn't plan it tt way. it will be the hardest lesson of my life if it really happens. so like what i mentioned, life's can get really sucky at times.
well, i think i kinda side-tracked a lil, cos what i'm dying to blog about is that - I FEEL SORRY FOR BEING A TAD TOO JUDGEMENTAL AND CRITICAL AT TIMES. okay, there's this guy at work tt most people dun really like, and many of us will go around behind his back saying he's irritating and all. and i'm guilty of tt. i hate the way he works sometimes, but sometimes it really seems like its okay, like he kinda seriously dunno where his faults lie and all. and when today i found out some truth, it makes me feel real damn sorry. unconciously, he taught me to treasure my family, to be grateful for certain things in life, to not take certain people for granted. and it all hits me hard like one tight slap in the face. okay, maybe i'm being a lil too emotional, and his lack of something in life really should not compensate or be an excuse for the way he works or behave. but u know, u'll feel like damn sorry and such la.
or maybe its just me.
maybe people are the way they are because of certain tragedies that happened in their life.
enough enough enough of such emo-emo stuffsssss...... kay, today was a day well-spent. my arms are like dead-meat. cosssssssssssssssssssssssss.................we went BOULDERING!! me, seng, yongchuan and herching whom they call him -the cow :)) its kinda like rock-climbing, but its not. and then i rushed off to work in the eve which i really dint feel like going.
and next week i've NOOOOOOOOOOO schhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! so weird, a one week break in the middle of school term, but i like :)
kaykay gotta go sleep early, tomoro most prolly going learn swimming with seng and yc! PLEASE DUN RAIN...PLEASE....... :D
