walkwithme.

ITS HARD SAYING GOODBYE.

2007-04-29T04:57:00.000+08:00

hello!

i've shifted!

byebye BLOGGER!
byebye A-MOMENT-IN-TIME!

I'LL MISS U GUYS SO!!

=(

YEA! DECIDED TO MAKE THE DRAMATIC SHIFT TO WORDPRESS!
AHAHHAA!
SO MUCH NICER AND BETTER WITH PASSWORD PROTECTED ENTRIES!!!!!!!!

OKAY, THE WEBBIE IS DONE IN LIKE 2 HOURS? SO PLS DO NOT COMPLAIN!
WILL UPDATE THE FRIENDS LINK PART, ADD IN VIDEOS, MAKE SOME SMALL CHANGES! AND THE DOWNSIDE IS I DO NOT HAVE A TAG BOARD!!! SO PLS TALK TO ME IN MY COMMENT BOX!!

LOVE U GUYS!

PLS UPDATE YOUR LINK!
gardenofmemories.wordpress.com

A LIL HILARIOUS.

2007-04-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

i believe many hates badhair cuts! the above is a fine example of a BADHAIR CUT DAY. WHY?

COS MISS WONG DECIDED TO BE A TAD TOO AMBITIOUS AND CUT HER OWN HAIR.

as can be seen from the pict, i looked like wayyyy kuckooo. and i swear that i'll never look like that again. ever. =) and just a gentle reminder, please do not save this picture and circulate it around. especially MS CHOW who loves to do such things (embarassing her friends-esp ME!)

i believe people like ms lim and some others have seen tt horrendous hair and they all have shown their disgusts on their faces...

oh well....an accident my friend. AN ACCIDENT!

HEH HEH HEH.

AND FRET NOT! I DO NOT LOOK LIKE THAT NOW! AFTER A TRIP TO THE SALON! EVERYTHING CHANGES! WHOOOOO! SO ON AH HAO 'S BIRTHDAY, AS CAN BE SEEN IN THE PICT BELOW, I BELIEVE I LOOK LIKE A DOLL! MUAHAHAHAHA!

kidding kidding, please dun puke!

new hair! not short-not long hair! =) not very satisfactory! i want to LOOK LIKE HER!
(PICT BELOW! kapook from jia's blog =p)

super chio right! but FIRST I HAVE TO CUT LIKE DAMN SHORT AND LOSE LIKE LOTSA WEIGHT TO GET THAT SLEEK FACE SHAPE AND BODY! MUAHAHAHA!

AS FOR NOW, MAYBE I'LL LOOK LIKE THIS.

PLEASE SCROLL DOWN.

BYE BYE AND STUDY HARD FOR THOSE WHO ARE MUGGING!

BRAIN SQUEEZE.

2007-04-21T03:46:00.000+08:00

i've started mugging today and needless to say, studying aint a wonderful thing. can't wait to wash my hands off studying for a longlongggg period. kinda feel the burn-out lately, still, have to continue fighting to maintain good grades.
was deciding between tp and amk, then considering tt black piggyy said over msn that he has so much to study without sufficient time, decided not to bugg him at amk. heeheehee.
so yea, studying was done at tp, not much covered today, still in the process of revving up my brain motor. hee.

on a happier note, should be damn well glad tt this's the last mugging period of my life, as compared to black piggy who has got like three more years...heh heh...*evil laugh..

this semester's kinda okay for us, no quarrels , no nothing. heh. maybe cos he's got a much nicer and understanding girlfriend compared to last term. GRINS. HEE HEE HEE.
and we did meet up ocasionally during special occasions. and can say black piggy puts in more effort as well =)

but kinda can't help wondering bout the future, will we still stay the way we are after i've gone into working life? will we be able to adjust our time to accomodate one another? so many questions. not that it matters alot, but can't help thinking. ultimately, still have to trust that love will works things out! yea!

yest's the 20th, five more months to our three years <3

miss u so much and hope u're coping well=)

=)

2007-04-18T05:01:00.000+08:00

hello-byebye.

i had nice porridge in the wee hours.

and hooked onto bowling.

i am happy.

thru the looking glass.

2007-04-16T04:26:00.000+08:00

sometimes it sucks being a girl, cos girls gets very much emotional certain times.
and this is exactly the time when my emotions try to get the better of me.
been thinking alot lately, bout certain stuffs, certain thoughts, feelings.
can't really register it clearly. nor wish to define it,nor to put a name to it, nor to attach some significance.
maybe because of fear.
not really sure of the answers i'm looking for. cold hard reality. dreams of emptiness, casablanca hopes.
all sounds like nothingness.
read a good book today, and it paints a really beautiful picture. one that i crave for. the perfect solitude. but like many other fantasies, it exists in fairytales and storybooks only.
if only dreams can be easily lived, then we wouldn't be building castles in the air.
singapore's so constrained, it feels like living hell sometimes. i needa getaway at times like this. with someone who will understand what the hell i'm talking about or thinking, this minute, this hour.
maybe everything has not fall into place. yet. but i'll find the answers.
and i'll wish that....nevermind, somethings are better left unsaid.
i know i sound a tad confusing right now, but i just need to get everything off, everything random.
study period is coming soon. be my last mugging period, and i know i'll hate it. but maybe love it at the same time.
made a record breaking 5 beary sundaes today. ha! and i'll treat u to *full bear bear if u want =)

i can't really fathom why the hell i'm blabbering.
ignore me.

BEGINNING OF AN END.

2007-04-13T03:54:00.000+08:00

wedesday marks the end of classes. that day was eh..kinda sentimental??
heh. sweetlilyan makes nice farewell cards for us. being nice, i promise i will not type out what she wrote on my card =)
as for jee, she sounds kinda emo-emo. should have made her cry. muahahaha! and yea she typed a 8 page long sms saying how much she will miss us and so. especially me i think. ha!
so after class, we were gathered around mega bites (our fav hangout for lunch
dinner supper)-kidding kidding. we had many exchanges of funny stories. big contribution came from jee as usual. stories as in real life stories...so freaking funny, i swear i'll roll on the floor in time to come.
weirdly, the last day of SCHOOL dint really affect me much, maybe i've kinda learnt how to separate the situations from the feelings?? haha! not as noble as u think =)
what i did, was taking picts of the building, the bus-stop and the dearest bridge i climb everyday. quite silly i know. but please dun laugh at me.

so erm, cheers to school.
cheers to the wonderful friends i made.
cheers to the not-so-yummy school snacks.
cheers to project mates who (fill.in.the.blanks)
cheers to mega bites and noodles.
cheers to koi pond.
cheers to u and me.

okay this is quite random, but i'm very happy with my new garment steamer.
no ironing board needed. cheers to mummy for spending $30 times 190 stamps =p
my house is full of groceries. i think we can feed many pigs. if u're hungry and starving, u can pay me a visit.

oh yea, celebrated hao's birthday on tuesday. and i hope he's happy with his cake and ktving. and he sings like andy lau i swear. will post picts once i get hold of them from dumbdumbmun! hee hee.

and yest was spent happily eating late night supper, and bowling at marina bay with roy and gang. reached home closed to 7 am . am dead tired. and i kinda like slept the whole day today. ok, more like yest.

negotiation's eveluation report is done and more than ready to submit tmr. and i can't really understand why certain people will choose to drag their individual's part deadlines at the expense of others. shhheeshhh, no big deal, should have gotten used to it.

should be more or less time to settle down and mugggg hard for exams.
wish me luck! will miss everyone! pls dun call me out after the 19th of April.
will go miaing. if u can't get me, i'll get back to u after my exams! =)

hello black piggy! do well for your exams! and i'll reward u with eh.....

A BIGGG FAT KISS!

MUAHAHAHAHAHAA =)

hello-

2007-04-08T03:08:00.000+08:00

i swear my blog is so dead.

and i've caught the flu bug, and one biggy pimple on my chin.
all thanks to roy.

LOL!

KEY OF UR HEART.

2007-04-03T02:38:00.000+08:00

i want to write something. just something.
recollections of fond memories, of the bad as well, heart-wrenching moments, expressions of euphoria, day-to-day happenings.

i want to put everything down here, as much as i can.
but seems like everything's stuck up in the mind.
how much i wrote in the past couldn't seems to capture the exact details, the exact feelings, emotions. something's missing. and when i look back, i couldnt help feeling a lil devastated.

if only the mind has a tape recorder, one that is constantly playing. one that captures all single lil details. cos u see, many a times i feel incomplete without each and every single previous lil memory. i can remember the happiness, joy, pain, hurt, sorrow and every other emotions that goes with it. but that's not enough. i wnat to paint an exact picture in my mind. a step-to-step orderly recollection. thats how insane i get sometimes. the human brain's deficit is one that i'm not very happy with. or maybe just mine.

i read a story not long ago, about how everyone has this lil key. this lil key is the key to happiness. this lil key can be deposited at many places..work, relationships, family, friends. when deposited at a particular area, that particular area is the only source to happiness. when things go wrong at such areas, or when such areas did not meet up to our expectations, we find no joy in life.
i've placed this lil key of mine in many diff areas during my growing up process. and sometimes i wonder, am i being truely happy? it seems like i've been constantly trying to please. to make others happy, sometimes at the expense of myself. i've grown up a good 22 years without acknowledging the importance of that lil key.

at young,i've placed that lil key with my family for as long as i can remember. i've never been truely happy till i was 18 i guess. relationship with my brother, as most of my closer friends know, has never been good. i hated him to the core. not out of plain jealousy, but cos of the ridiculous things that he demanded from my parents, for making life as difficult as possible for me. we fought like cats and dogs, and the amount of blood lost in the process can soak many tissues.
i've placed it at my favourite sports, getting high whenever i cleared the bar at high jump, crossing every hurdles, running every single kilometers, shooting hoops, and many many others.
i've placed it too with friends, enjoying dates with them. the simple things like catching up over coffee.
i've placed it at the wrong areas too, wanting to get a feel of a rebellious teenager trying to find her own identity. i've been dead drunk on the street, hanging out with the wrong cliques, swearing and cursing. acting like an "ah-lian" at times. this is my past, one past that i never find happiness in.
at 19, i've placed the key with my boyfriend. the first guy i ever placed tt lil key with,or constantly try to. the past two relationships before i was 19 was insignificant, cos i simply do not know what love is really about. back to the present one, i've placed tt lil key a good deal of time in him. everything simply have to resolve around him. for a long period, my happiness seems to come from this one source only. but there were many disappointments, tears and unhappy moments. i constantly ask myself what has been going wrong? why is the only one thing that makes me happy, makes me very unhappy at times? at times, it felt that i'm missing out on sufficient attention, care and concern. This often dampened my mood for other stuffs. friends, family, sports do not seem to be able to put smiles back onto my face. however, overtime as our relationship grows with time, i slowly learn to take back tt lil key. i find myself much happier, not relying on someone else to give me happiness. tt nonchalent attitude has kept me happy a good deal of time, i try to slowly release, release the dependance that i know i can never really get from him. this makes me happier, the process wasn't easy. but i'm proud so far. that lil key will still be with him at times, but it will be with me more, a good deal of time.

learning to keep that lil key with me has made me a happier person thus far. i try to take it back from work, family, friends, boyfriend. the process ain't easy, but the outcome is definitely rewarding. i find my own source of happiness. and if i cant find it, i create it.

keep tt lil key with u, and u'll find urself much happier =D

i'm still trying.

CLOTHES FIESTA.

2007-03-29T02:31:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO GET ALLL THESEEE!!!
THEY ARE SOOO GORGEOUS!!!!!!
BUT I CANNOT WASTE MONEY!! =( MAYBE I'LL GET ONE FIRST =D

REVIVE UR SENSES.

2007-03-26T03:54:00.000+08:00

WhOohHhOOOOO!
HONG KONG'S TRIP BEEN CONFIRMED!
from the 15th to the 19th of May after my exams!
can't wait and hope to catch up with the gurlies then!
mich, munting, peizhi and myself! 4 girlies power! yay! we'll go tieshatsui to find gansters! YES! AND MICHELLE WANTS TO JOIN THE GANG THERE I THINK=D

will MISS ROY'S BIRTHDAY THOUGH! SO AYE ROY!!! DUN BE SAD KAY..HEEHEEE, I'LL GET SOME NICE LIL PRESSIE BACK FOR U! so enjoy urself with the rest! and someone might bake u a cake. hahaha! GO GET A BBQ!!!!! BUT I'LL FEEL DAMN SAD IF U DO, COS I'LL MISS THE BBQ FOOD AND THE COMPANY OF COS!!! heee..kidding...most impt enjoy ur 25th birthday old man! **i'm gonna get killeddd....

and needless to say, the one i'll miss most will be the black piggyyy!!!!
heee, but black piggy hates shopping places like hongkong =(
but its okay, i'll do the shopping for him and get him lotsa goodiesss back =p
maybe he'll be a nice boyfriend and sent me to the airport? *hahaha..

flight's in the morning..so hate mornings..but no choice!
and i need to set a budget for this trip or else i'll be damn broke.
think i'll budget arnd 700.
asked mum the other time:" do u want to be a nice mummy and sponsor me 500 bucks for my trip? i promise i'll get u nice goodies!" MY MUM JUST KEPT QUIET. lol...at least its not a NO! but not a Yes as well...haha...shall see:)

I DUN LIKE IT WHEN TT HAPPENS.
BUT IT'S KINDA OVERTLY SENSITIVE TO FEEL THAT WAY.
COS I KNOW I'LL DO THAT TOO.
NEVERMIND, I'M CONTRADICTING MYSELF.

BRAIN JUICE SQUEEZE.

2007-03-22T01:13:00.000+08:00

i've been staring at blogger's blank page for quite sometime. and i really mean like SOMETIME!
i stared and stared, then i choose to busy myself with other stuffs, like chatting with seng on msn, disturbing jack on msn, replying seng's comments on friendster, blog-hopping! replying tagboard comments, online sprees, checking emails and student portal, organizing some photo frame, searching for some useless stuff among a 1001 stuffs in my drawer,listening to songs.
all those i had finished doing. so now, i'm stuck at blogger's page. but hey! there's a difference! cos i'm actually like bloggginggggg now! hahaha!
i told yanyan just now tt i'll update my blog, so gotta stick to my promise!

anyway, it's really amazing why i'm not asleep at this hour (guess yan is sleeping lke a pig now)... BECAUSE I STAYED UP THE WHOLE NIGHT yesterday TO DO THE TEDIOUS STRATEGIC MGMT REPORT!!!!!!!! ITS A STRAIGHT 14 HOURS OF ANALYTICAL WORK. i feel like most of my brain cells are killed.
the word count limit is 4000 words, so when i completed the report, i almost faint.
its a bloody 7ooo plus word count.

on a brighter note, that kick-ass report is finally submitted and i feel so freee! whoooo! =) okay, maybe like now only.
MC TEST IS APPROACHING, IN LIKE 5 DAYS? MINUS TWO DAYS OF FULL-SHIFT WORK AT THE CAFE, TIME IS SO LIMITED.
yea some ppl will go like-WHO ASK U WORK SO MUCH!
BUT!! ITS ONLY TWO FULL DAYS OUT OF SEVEN DAYS! =)
young people must earn money while they can u know, and also built stress, the more stress the better! so that we can be MENTALLY STRONGER!
SO I'LL CONTINUE STRESSING MYSELF WITH TIGHT DATELINES!
WAHAHAHA!

and i'm terribly sorry for people who's been trying to get me these days.
really sorry for ignoring most of ah hao's calls
and i haven apologise nor spoke to him yet since tt day i flew him an aeroplane.
it wasn't intentional, and i remembered only when mun reminded me i was supposed to catch a movie with him.
and i'm sorry to many others whom i did not pick ur calls.
and ppl whom i can't replace their shifts at work!
and to s. for dragging and dragging our meet-ups.thanks for the constant suppers offer, but i'm like really caught up with lotsa stuffs.

school's been terribly busy.
gotta make it up.
especially to hao.

speaking of work at the cafe, just like what i told yan just now during our erm dinner? (weird time for dinner), i really enjoyed going to work since the new mgmt takeovers.
generally nice people. especially UNCLE ALAN which i'm sure everyone will simul agree. SIM and Shuling as well. paul's the more firm one. but kinda cranky too.
these people are very easy going, dun have the feeling of someone being on your back all the time.
they do nag when people are not doing their jobs, or when discipline gets out of hand.
like what yan said,this might cause some lil kids to get angry. i second.
what i like about them is,if we do our jobs well and conduct ourselves appropriately, they pretty much let us work at our own pace.
and I'M SURE MANY WILL AGREE THAT WE DO FEEL APPRECIATED.
it's just something bout them.
of course not forgetting fun and enjoyable colleagues like CALVIN (his cheeks can be eaten i swear!), izhar (the best working partner around), yanyan (her cheerfulness is contagious!), hazel (with her funny and silly antics! but nevertheless fun irritating her!), nat (the AUNTIE WHO LIKES TO SHOUT!), roy (best eating, chatting, joking kaki!), schenelle (full of shit, hahaha..WE ARE BOTH FULL OF SHIT TOGETHER!)...............and many more...the list can go on and on.........
so u see, days at ny is kinda sunny ;)
most will agree, of cos there'll be a minority few who disagrees:)

nice chatting with yanyan just now, and as usual it always feel damn comfy and enjoyable hanging out with her, be it having lunch, dinner or gossiping around :)

ON A HEAVIER NOTE, THE PRELIMINARY EXAM TIMETABLE IS OUT.
just check it just now, and i'm seriously very not happy with some of the dates! okay, a PARTICULAR DATE! =(
if there are no changes to the schedule, exam will start on the 2nd and end on the 11th.
so hongkong must be after that kay!

BIGG THANKS TO DARYN WHO SENT ME THIS PARTICUALR SONG OVER MSN JUST NOW.
IT WILL BE ON RE-RUNS MODE FOR A LONG TIME, COS THE SONG IS SOOOOOOO NICE CAN!

WAY BACK INTO LOVE

i've been living with the shadows overhead
i've been sleeping with the cloud above my bed
i've been lonely for so long
drop in the past i just can't seem to move on

i've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
just in case i need them again someday
ive been setting aside time
to clear our little space in the cornors of my mind

all i wanna do is find a way back into love
i cant make it thru without a way back into love

i've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
i've been searching but i just dun see the signs
i know its out there
there's gonnta be something for my soul somewhere

i've been looking for someone to shed some light
not just somebody to get me thru the night
i could use some direction
and im open to your suggestion

all i wanna do is find a way back into love
i cant make it thru without a way back into love
and if i open my heart again
i guess i'm hoping u'll be there for me in the end

there are moments if i dunno if it's real
or if anybody feels the way i feel
i need inspiration
not just another negotiation

all i wanna do is find a way back into love
i cant make it thru without a way back into love

and if i open my heart to u
i'm hoping u show me what to do
and if u held me to start again
u know i be there for u in the end

POOO.

2007-03-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

recently, there are so many birthdays. especially those of closer friends.
friends like derrick, raine, ban, and tomoro is chuan's birthday!

so hereby wishing MR CHUAN A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND HOPE HE STAYS HAPPY ALWAYS! =)

banny's 22nd birthday was celebrated at kuishinbo, this wonderful jap buffet restaurant at suntec city. we (jiao, duoteng, ban,zc and me!) went on a sunday, and guess how much it costs?? like close to 40 bucks per person! very costly! BUT definitely WORTH THR MONEY! there's a wide variety of expensive items such as crabs (i hate it cos zc keeps slashing crabjuice on us =P), lobsters(ban's fav!), salmons, choc fondue, tepanyaki, greentea icecream (to die for), chix terriyaki, some variety of prawns which i totally forgotton the names (jiao's fav!, still, in the end forces the guys to finsh her share! haha!), FRIED RICE! ( which the guys keep suaning me about.LOL!, beef stew, mixed veg (dt fav!), cottoncandy, choc and mangomousse, lotsa diff kinda sushi, and lotssss more!! YUMMYYY!!!
thanks to niceeeeniceee ban for the treat! and we hoped u like ur shoe! YAY!
WE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT TWO SHOES! HEE.
as usual, we took many nice picts, but since i'm lazy, have to wait longlong for the picts to be uploaded!
and stupid me brought along my digicam that has only space for one shot! MUAHAHAHA!
so the rest of the picts were taken by my handphone! tt explains why most of the picts are blur
:(
anyway, really happy to see them again!

as for derrick and raine, like kinda long never meet. miss them and hope to meet up with them soon!

as for today, nothing special, attended lecture in the afternoon, and had dinner with my parents.
daddy who normally hates wasting food, gave up on the tomyam noodles just now. u can imagine how spicy it is. i think THE BLACK PIGGY WILL LOVE IT. cept gotta make it vegetarian, and add like hundred more chilli padi in it. hahaha!
and i bought clothes again! =( i know i've been spending lotsa money on clothes, but i promise i'll be a good good girl in future. but the armyy shorts and white top i bought today is like a must-buy! cos its freaking cheap and nice!!! :)
yet to explore one biggg mega store! but in another way, i'm dreading it.
super super happy with the black jumper shorts i bought the day before yest i think.
OKAY I SOUND SO BIMBOTIC!!!!!

i should start talking about books and such, so that i'll sound so book-worm and knowledgeable. =)))))))))))))))

i hope the color group is not giving u any more headache, and i really wish that ur event will go like veryyyyyyyyyy smoothlyyyyy, which i think it will. cos U PUT IN SO MUCH EFFORT & HARD WORK!
AND I REALLLY REALLLYYY HOPE THAT U TAKE GOOD CARE OF URSELF, EAT WELL, SLEEP WELL. (WHICH I KNOW U WILL TELL ME: IMPOSSIBLE!)
ANYWAY NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT U, U KNOW UR LIMITS.
so continue to work hard, continue to stress, and most importantly, MISS ME!
COS I MISS U SOOO MUCH! =)

IDEALIZM? NOPE.

2007-03-08T23:23:00.000+08:00

the past few days have been rejuvenating. very very veryyyy much so.
why?
COS I HAVE TAKEN LOTS & LOTSSSS OF TIME OUT TO SLEEEEEPP!!

badly needed sleep alright, cos i 've been rushing like tons of projects.

since the end of chinese new year period, school has been like WHOOSH! all projs at one go!
can finally take a biggg sigh of relieve after the coverletter&resumewriting, managing change and interview self reflection proj is over =D

this week's like a "week-taken-to-rest". so that i can restore the amount of energy needed to face the next wave of projs............the one on STRATEGIC MGMT is a killer! i'm sure alot of people will agree with me. then its left with workplace negotiations, managing change test, and WIL. after which will be EXAMS!! and FINALLY, i'll be an official ROYAL MELBOURNE INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY GRADUATE! =)

kinda exciting, and i can't wait to embark on my career:))))

kinda looking forward to that hongkong trip with frens too, but very very very upset that ming can't go=( well, confirmation not done yet cos ticks not booked and all. so shall see, might or might not be going. and dates must be after the 7th of MAY.

got to go shop for present for dear's mum's birthday which is on the 7th May, and i should not tell the pig.
cos most prolly: 1) he willl not go shop with me.
2) he will ask me not to buy, or say "anything la"
HAHAHA =)
so best, dun ask any opinions from him, just go and buy!

and "PURSUIT OF HAPP-Y-NESS" IS DEFINITELY A MUST'WATCH KAY!
someone cried lotssss and lotsss of timess...see how touching the show is?? ahahahah!! shhhhh....
personally, i like it. OR RATHER, MORE LIKE LOVEEEE IT !

and and i want to go to IT FAIR!!! BUT SENG DECIDED TO PANG SEH ME AND GO ON DAYS WHICH I'M WORKING!!!!!! HOW CAN LIKE THAT! hee, but nevermind, cos i dun really have the time to go down, maybe nicenice him can help me get some stuffs?? heh heh.

and and and i can't wait to meet hao on the 14th , been sucha longgg time since i last saw him, confirm got lots to catch up! :)

and and and and the service at SHOP AND SAVE TOAPAYOH is horrendous! omg, think i'll take a long time to put the details down here, if u're interested or kpo come ask me kay!

AND I WANT TO CATCH DREAM GIRLS!
most prolly pig will not be free to watch it with me, cos its his busy busy busy period (yea i hate periods like these), so ANYONE INTERESTED?? HEEHEE. anyone x'cept -s.

and and and and and i really got to start STRATEGIC MGMT!

but before i go, here's a song i really reallyyy like. its been on replay mood since ages ago.

Listen to the song here in my heart
a melody I start but can't complete

Listen to the sound from deep within
Its only beginning to find release

Ohh the time has come for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own, all 'cause you won't listen

[chorus]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened

There was someone here inside
Someone I thought had died
So long ago
Oh I'm screaming out
And my dreams will be heard
They will not be pushed Aside or turned
Into your own
All 'cause you won't listen

[chorus]
Listen
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home in my own home
And I've tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what
You've made of me
I followed the voice, you gave to me
But now I've gotta find my own
You should have listened

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart
A melody I start, but I will complete

Now I am done believing you
You don't know not what I am feeling
I'm more than what you've made of me
I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I got to find my own - my own

I BELIEVE IT PORTRAYS THE FEELINGS OF MANY WOMEN.
IT PORTRAYS MINE.
MING, I HOPE U LIKE THIS, AND I REALLY WISH U'LL BE FINE WHEREVER U'RE. CHEER UP AIGHTS! U'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY PRAYERS! =)

my tamagotchi pet died the second time today! after the shit can't be cleared, thEn the cemetery and cross sign appeared after keeping it in darkness (WITH THE SHIT) for eh 32 hours? WAHAHAHA!

i do not want u to start just becos i started it or i complained. i want u to initiate on ur own. geddit?
stuffs like good night messages still means alot to me.

kill me. =D

2007-03-05T13:32:00.000+08:00

ME: SHOULD I CUT SHORT HAIR?

BOYFRIEND: ITS UP TO YOU. WHEN U ASK ME, U ALREADY HAVE A DECISION BUT U JUST WANT ME TO DECIDE. SO GO WITH YOUR MIND, COS THAT'S YOUR HAIR.

GUYS....................

CNY BLAST.

2007-02-22T07:01:00.000+08:00

hello everybody! i'm back from the whole festive mood and i enjoyed myself tremendously this chinese new year. this year's was erm ..rather different i guess, the most enjoyable one since i was a lil girl :)

as some of u guys know, my family is rather "angm0", they do not follow the so called "chinese tradition", no visitation, nothing. cept' they do give me red packets :) so this year's was spent with the piggy boyfriend, four days together, right from the start of reunion dinner.

so ahhh, reunion dinner was a feast to my eyes, and of cos a feast literally. first time in my life i've seen such a wide variety of vegetarian food :) oh yea we had steamboat! yummy!

then the other 3 days were spent watching movie-ghost riders together with his frens, late-night swensens, visitations to his relatives house - this i must comment! hahaha!

he had like tons and tons of relatives!!! gosh!!! not that i know it the first time, but seeing so many at one time (bout 50 headcount i think) at his ahma house was rather shocking. for a moment i was momentarily dazed, and his aunt even commented to him -"why ur girlfriend stand there and stun?" HAHAHA!:), ang baos were like flowing like tap water everytime i turn and look at one of his relatives. okay maybe not that exaggerating..heee, but u get the picture somehow?" =p and THAT'S NOT ALL OF HIS RELATIVES! **faint. cos darling's always the sooo filial one helping around, had to entertain myself with his relatives, sort of force-to-eat by his auntie :) being chased out of the kitchen! :(

okay that aside, we went down to his buddy's house too. some sort of his buddy's sister's birthday celebration. she's really nice and i like her alot!!! cheryl!!!!!!:) had steamboat for the second time in one day (the first's at ahma house). and i received plants!!! from his buddy! okay, maybe the seeds of the plant?? heh heh heh. thank you Mr. garvin!!!!!

darling had a fun time making garvin's bed dirty and sticky i think, with chocolates, mangoes and honey dews. heh heh.

and i met his "other" family for the first time too. his God daddy and the rest of the family. we had dinner at some vegetarian place. kinda posh yet homely that kind. the food's really unique. his nephew is sooo cuteeeee!!!!!!! his eyelashes is likeee soooo amazinglyyyy longgggg!!!!

had a bet with dear too, and i lost!!!!!!!! wailll!!!!!!!!!!!!! i got to EAT ALL THE ORANGES IN HIS HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :(

pray he'll forget :))))) hahahahaahaha!

okayokay, enough of my long-winded chinese new year's ranting :)

i hope u guys had a blast as well, and now i must get back to my boringggggg boookssss:(

some pictures from way back:)

the bear is SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!

LOVE IS ALL AROUND!

2007-02-14T17:14:00.000+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY TO ALL!

MANY KISSES!!!

MUACK MUACK MUACKSSSSSSSSSSSS! =D

EVERYBODY GO HAVE A BLAST AIGHTS!
do not treat v-day as a normal day aights! we must respect our forefathers and celebrate the significance of v-day! :)

many many lovely valentine's messages and chocolates from lots! many thanks =p
NAH-> * BIG FAT KISS*

blogging from my school's computer, which is like super lousy, not comparable at all with mine at home. MUAHAHAHA:)

anyway waiting for time to pass, another 10 mins, and i'll make my way down to SUNTEC CITY!
heehee:)
really appreciate it when the busy busyyy piggy makes the efforts to meet on this special day, although he got a quiz tomoro :))))))

*ps. thanks darling yanyan for attending noon lecture instead of morn one with me! or else it'll be damn boring:)))))

heyo!

2007-02-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

PREVIOUS POST DELETED! :)
due to "go go jia you!" ha! cos i must jia you and be happy right?

by the way THANK YOU YAN YAN for the "tamagochi" thingy!
sooo sweeeettt!!! awwwww :)

EVERYTHING SHOULD FALL IN PLACE.

2007-02-03T06:43:00.000+08:00

it's really kinda weird to wake up at this time of the night, or rather morning. not that i want to, but the body's kinda amazing. hahaha! cos i'm a sleepaholic, and maybe there're just too many stuffs on my mind.
i'm starting to feel the heat from school as well and i can't wait to get everything started. but first, i rather things around me be organized first. like how i've been spending the past few days clearing up my ridiculously messy room. and the wardrobe is even worse with like one huge tons of shirts, jeans, and bags to be given away :) and and..and i need to alter like one huge pile of jeans as well!:( sigh...guess i'll leave that aside perhaps and put more importance on my bookshelves. that's another disaster i tell u!
gosh!

okay, i really should stop ranting and ranting bout how messy everything is...hahaha!

getting used to the way certain things are, dun wanna care too much, dun wanna place too much hope, dun wanna adjust my time and schedule and all to accomodate.

there comes many times in life when i know that i must be very understanding. but sometimes i dun really wanna be short-changed, u'know like settle for second best. in certain times, it kinda feels sucky as well, like a kid being given her favourite lollipop, and alas! the lollipop went into some drain! =D

okayokay, more positively, i like my recent shopping sprees :) and work at the cafe has been like one huge kind of reshuffling. and some red t-shirt just can't understand the way we work. i guess he prefers the tortoise kind, yet we're the hare. okay maybe some of us ONLY. IF HE thinks wheelock's outlet is small and thus there's not a need for such a pace. then i guess he haven really adjust to the envivonment yet. and what's funny is that he made that comment during a full-house situation. helllo? we dun need to impress u =D

what else, there's like a 101 million stuffs in me waiting to break free, but those have found a peaceful, solitude right at the very bottom of my heart, so i'll just leave it for now.

i'm feeling nostalgic. but times like these will pass :)

was browsing thru my pictures when i saw this pict. kinda portray my feelings right now.
and i dunno why the hell i looked so worried in this pict :) can u find me? muahahaha.

:)

2007-02-02T02:54:00.000+08:00

OKAY I'M LIKE SUPPOSEDLY ""FORCE""" TO OPENLY DECLARE MY SO-CALLED "LIKING" FOR SOME GUY.
BUT IT BEST REMAINS ANNONYMOUS, OR ELSE THERE WILL BE LOTSA PEOPLE CHASING AFTER ME WITH THOSE FAT HUGE CHOPPERS. ESPECIALLY SOME GIRL:)

RIGHT! EH, MR. ?
AND THIS POST IS KINDA NOT-TOO-BAD FOR U RIGHT, CONSIDERED ITS LKE SOME SORT OF PERSONALISED POST??

MUAHAHAHA.
SO U CONTINUE UR FLOATING IN THE AIR KAY:)

SO ANYWAY, MR. IS CUTE, FUNNY, IRRITATINGLY SHY, ENTERTAINING. HAMSOME(TT'S A LIE), TALENTED, ATTRACTIVE.

HAHAHAHAHA!

AND IF HE REALLY WANNA WOOOO SOMEONE, HE GOTTA PULL HIS SOCKS UP HIGH HIGH:)

YAY!!

ANY GUESSES ON WHO MR. IS???? GOT PRIZE!!!:))))

WHY LIKE THAT!

2007-01-30T01:14:00.000+08:00

BOOOHOOOO!

THEY SAY I LOOK LIKE A FROG!!!!

HOW CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN THEY MADE ME IMITATE TT FROGGY'S FACE!!!!!!!

AND THEY SAY.........................."wah! so similar!"

DOTZZZZZZZZ.

SO I PROTESTED VIOLENTLY....
AND SAID......

IT SHOULD BE DONE THIS WAY...

AHHHH.....

I KISSED MY LITTLE FROGGY...HOPING TT IT'LL TURN INTO SOME FOGGGIEE PRINCE CHARMING!

BUT BUT......SIGH.

ANYWAY REALLY WANNA THANK U GIRLIES! :)

YAN, PING, PHYL =D

DIMSUM YUM!

2007-01-23T01:29:00.000+08:00

i find it very taxing to log into blogger.
cos sometimes the connection just sucks.
or most prolly cos i'm lazy.

the latter is more true i think! hiazk! :X

so anyway, life has been very fulfiling thus far- attending lessons, working at the cafe (to support my huge appetite for tidbits and shopping! ), printing and organizing all the necessary timetable & notes for this sem, hangout with my sec sch besties (hanging out till wee hours on sat!), and of cos not forgetting leading a healthy lifestyle! hee!

and the one week break is indeed a very rewarding break.
had lotsa rest and timeout with frens. esp doing sports activities.

yan, jean, sky, and me went cable skiing! and its like............whoooooooooooo! damn traumatic for yan i think. haha! damn funny seeing her traumatic face! lol...evilevil:)
as for jean and me.....dotzz.....we practically spent the whole hour "wading" back to shore..cos i dunno how to swim. yet. damn freaking far and tiring wading back to shore, still needa go search for my missing ski that had flung out to open sea...oh man...kinda disastrous...but nevertheless, FUN! I WANNA GO WAKEBOARDING!! the sim seasports club ppl say its so much easier compared to cable ski cos of the bloody cable! :)
oh ya, i dint get to see jean's frog jump :(((( yannnn!!!!! waillllll!!!!

kay, and thurs we're supposed to go rockclimbing, but all decided to postpone cos of our aching bodies from the endless cycling at eastcoast and the cable skiing. heh!
so i drag my aching body out with mummy to do shopping the whole day. bought lotsa nice accesories this time round :)
i want to buy some shoes, but did not see nice ones arnd. hmmm...will continue the search again soon...hee.

as for swim lessons with yongchuan, we dint get to meet this week, cos he is off on the day tt i had work, and the weather is damn horrible recently!!

and this week will be another busy week. esp with lotsa 'work integrated lessons'. and also, tmr gonna go sentosa , and wed will be barbeque cum stay over at dwntown chalet!!! heee....and i'm sure we'll have so much fun sleepiing together at nite and waking up realll early in the morning to go to morning lesson the next day!! right right !!!:)

biggg thanks to dear's fren simon for telling me bout this super cheap ktv place too...heh....yanyan, must go there with simon next time okay! muahahahaha.

working on fri and sat! and sunday i'm off!!! wheee!! hope tt yc is off tooo!!
and i guess the dumbdumb seng is in taiwan by now.

and one last thing, i still have not pack my room!!!!!!!!!!! all darling's fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
complained to him in the morn and he says tt i'll see all my stuffss flying out of the window if he pack for me. :(
must tell my mummy he bullies me :)

GOOD NITE!!!! TMR GOTTA GET UP EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIND UR LIFE, UR WAY.

2007-01-15T00:40:00.000+08:00

okay, 'that' kinda hits me right smack in my face. today.
that kinda moral thinking is somewhere inside my mind, but only today i seem to really grasp the full impact of it.
i realise that everyone of us is not perfect. OKAY, THIS IS THE PART WHERE U MIGHT GO LIKE - DUH.
but certain stuffs tt happened just now makes me realise that everyone's imperfect in their own ways.
its like u know the theory, the moral reasoning and such. but it never really leave a deep impact on u. surprisingly, i do feel a lil kind of affected.
no one person could be truely happy on earth. its like even when life seems to go perfectly at one point, and u feel like everything's in ur favour, 'some stuffs' must always come along to screw it all up, and leave u all drained and washed out.
that really sucks big time.
and to look on the brighter side, we take it as a lesson learnt. but if the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow could never be truely achieved, than there's really no meaning in pursuing true happiness. even the things that we're contented with, its never gonna stay for long. life's like a clock slowly ticking away, full of uncertainty, changes, ups and downs. when u fight so hard during the downs to find the ups, u know tt the fight is not truely over. cos its like a terrible vicious cycle, with the downs to revisit us again.

so what do we do? treasure the moments i guess.
but how do u treasure the moments? if i lived like tomoro is my last day, i wouldn't go to school, i would not get myself caught up in this huge rat race, working endlessly to survive, studying hard for better prospects, earning tt degree hoping tt it will get us somewhere in the future.
okay all this sounds really pessimistic.
but at certain times, it kinda gets a lil overbearing.

despite all these short-comings of life, God creates one GREAT thing thou, which could overrides all pain and suffering, all unhappiness.
it is call- LOVE.
without love, people are like machines caught up in the rat race.
everybody needs love. family-love, relationships-love, friends-love, even universal-love.
and when rela-love screws up, dun give up hope. just keep on searching; for God is good enuff to create the right one tt is meant for u.
i know met the one tt i'm truely happy with for now. although he makes me mad, upset, dissappointed and tears at times, i know this is one fight which i will not give up easily. sometimes silly pride and all makes me wanna gives up everything and move on during quarrels and unhappiness, but there's that lil voice in me pulling me back, and he seems to always pull me back with all sort of explanations, apology and his uncanny way of making me feel tt i'm the one who's unreasonable and makes me feels guitly in the end :(
he makes me happy just by being happy himself, he makes me feels right, and when he's in tt foul mood, i really feel like smacking him right hard across his head,but i know i'll still stick it out thru the bad times. yest, he just told me tt relationships should be bout happy times only, and so he dun wanna show me tt bad side of him. but i wanna stick right thru the good and the bad. sometimes i wish tt he would not be too overtly concern bout the way i feel. if he gets all moody, horrible and stuffs during stressful periods, i want him to trust tt i can take it. maybe in the past, i showed him tt i'm incapable of being understanding enough, and often flared up easily. but i'm slowly learning and changing. i do hope tt he'll trust tt i'm capable of such changes.
however, sadly, if God's plans are tt we're not meant for each other, than sooner or later the inevitable will happen. this is what i believe in. i believe in fate aka God's plan :) no amount of hard work could make us stick it thru if God doesn't plan it tt way. it will be the hardest lesson of my life if it really happens. so like what i mentioned, life's can get really sucky at times.

well, i think i kinda side-tracked a lil, cos what i'm dying to blog about is that -
I FEEL SORRY FOR BEING A TAD TOO JUDGEMENTAL AND CRITICAL AT TIMES.
okay, there's this guy at work tt most people dun really like, and many of us will go around behind his back saying he's irritating and all. and i'm guilty of tt. i hate the way he works sometimes, but sometimes it really seems like its okay, like he kinda seriously dunno where his faults lie and all. and when today i found out some truth, it makes me feel real damn sorry.
unconciously, he taught me to treasure my family, to be grateful for certain things in life, to not take certain people for granted. and it all hits me hard like one tight slap in the face.
okay, maybe i'm being a lil too emotional, and his lack of something in life really should not compensate or be an excuse for the way he works or behave. but u know, u'll feel like damn sorry and such la.

or maybe its just me.

maybe people are the way they are because of certain tragedies that happened in their life.

enough enough enough of such emo-emo stuffsssss......
kay, today was a day well-spent.
my arms are like dead-meat.
cosssssssssssssssssssssssss.................we went BOULDERING!! me, seng, yongchuan and herching whom they call him -the cow :))
its kinda like rock-climbing, but its not.
and then i rushed off to work in the eve which i really dint feel like going.

and next week i've NOOOOOOOOOOO schhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! so weird, a one week break in the middle of school term, but i like :)

kaykay gotta go sleep early, tomoro most prolly going learn swimming with seng and yc! PLEASE DUN RAIN...PLEASE....... :D

ANG KU KUEY.

2007-01-11T01:37:00.000+08:00

today's my first swimming lesson at yishun swimming pool with yongchuan.
kinda in a panicky mood initially, seeing loads of water and all :)
we went to the large pool instead of the training pool cos he said tt the training pool is like -shallow.
he taught fundamentals like breathing techniques, trap water, float :) and two kinds of swimming style- freestyle and froggie style. i like the leg part of the freestyle and the hand part of the froggie style. but he said i can't put those two together or else i'll have some "cha-pa-lang" style and will look damn silly! hee hee.

so welll..... trapping water was a killer.....and getting my lower back to cooperate was worse..its keeps on like sinking to the bottom of the pool! so i kinda like can't swim on the surface...i keep sinking! help!!
anyway i get the techniques that he explained..but ahhhh....executing them was a totally different issue altogether. my legs and hands and breathing cant cooperate :(
guess it takes time like what he said...u can't expect to swim after the 1st lesson, so don't be too ambitious. heh heh heh.
so i guess its practice practice practice on my own during my free time so tt the next lesson he will not vomit blood or something.
gonna hit the pool quite often, so watch out for a sun-burn pig okay...and dun worry i wont get blackkkkkkkk....i think the most i will get like damn redddddd and burnt :(
as for today i had sun-burn on my freaking face and arms. regardless of sun-burnt face, think i'll still hit the pool tomoro.

urghhh...learning new stuffs is a drag, but i'm sure i will appreciate it when i learnt how to swim..cos after all its another form of sports ...Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

and hopefully yc achieves his target too...gonna pass all of my personal training knowledge absorbed during attachment at Bodywatch gym to him :)

lets jiayou together! :)))))

AND THANK YOUSSS AGAIN!

2007-01-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

DEAR SAISAJEETHA PALANISAMY!

THANK YOU FOR UR LOVELYYYY PRESSIEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! COS I SO LIKE THE T-SHIRT CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

think u purposely buy sooo pinkyyyy stufffs for me..heee....but i really do love the color alot (and the wordings on it!), especially matching it with tt hairband u included!

u really know my taste well :))))))

muack!

thanks so much dear, ESPECIALLY THAT BEAUTIFUL HAND MADE CARD OR A4 POSTER THINGY! :D

yea like what u said, we've been thru quite alot since the past (almost) 2 years, conflicts and stuffs. Glad we make it thru and find beautiful friendship at the end of it all!

heehee! so nice and sweet of u!

and also to RAINE!
thanks for ur beautiful earrings!! bugis village on sat! yayyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!

heee.....earrings and clothes are always top! heh heh heh :)

by the way, today's my first day of school, yanyan's first day is tomoro! cos today is my specialisation subject with PALA! we are like so excited la...school start and all...ha! but the lecturer is damn cock la! and the assignments he went thru was like...HELP! especially the group assignment on negotiations ....someone kill me! i'm sure PALA loves it! hee:)

today is also darling's school reopen day! guess he'll be busy fighting the *******. shhhh! kinda racist! and get to chat longlonggg on the phone with him just now...cos i guess STRESS haven bombarded him and all! heee........so better cherish such rare moments :) then as weeks pass by, u'll see a black pig gets grouchier and grouchier!!!!! eeeek! hey piggy, i like tt javascript thingy :)

learning swimming from nicenice YC soon! yay!

and limhongyan GET WELL SOON!

biggg words are HOT! hahaha!

BIGGGG THANK YOUS!!!

2007-01-04T22:49:00.000+08:00

hello hello!

firstly, BIGGGGY THANKS TO ALL THESE PEOPLE FOR THEIR LOVELY BIRTHDAY GREETINGS!
REALLY APPRECIATE THEM LOTS :D

annie (who was the first with tt lovely pressie=p),
jiaojiao!
jack! (who called and insulted me :( i'm not an auntie!! )
ah seng!
yongchuan (with lotsa handshakes! haha!)
saychuan!
roy (who advise me not to grow fat! ahaha)
ash!! (from dunno where, pariss i think! kinda surprise :)
weilin (who always remember despite us not keeping in contact)
banny!
zhong chuan!
derrick!!!
ian :) funny tt this guy remembers ! so nice of him. lol
gary!! =D really haappy to hear from him.
mingli!! i love this woman lotsa!
michelle!!!! muack!
ah hao! miss him!
daryl fam (from bhss- damn surprise la :))))))
joel!!! (feel bad for not attending his bday celebration :(
lorraine! meeting up with her soon!! wheeeeeeeeee!
hongyan! (who wished me dunring tt unexpected time of the night! haha! so coincidence!)
simon!( darling's fren who wished me over msn :)))))
jeanette ! with her nice testimonial :)
junjie!
eazy!!
ah boy! (who said i dunno should msg u anot! haha!)
liza from holland!
seivon with her lovely call from nydc and tt BIG SHOUTOUT from the peeps working tt night :)
darling's ahma for her hongbao :))))
and lastly MUNTING WHO I WILL NEVER FORGIVE COS SHE WISHED ME A DAY LATE!
HAHAHA!
COS CERTAIN FRENS WHO ARE NOT CLOSE TO ME REMEMBERS! AND SHE!!!!
TSK TSK....LOL. I MUST DISOWN HER AS A FREN SOON :)))))

reallly want to give ALL THESE PEOPLE A HUG AND KISS EACH :))))
AND I PROMISE I WILL REMEMBER EVERYONE'S BIRTHDAY HERE AND WISH THEM! cos it sure feels good to have people remembering ur birthday :)

well, the birthday was very well spent :))) damn tired too that i dozed off a few times on his bike. cos nice nice jack, saychuan, ahseng, yongchuan and the pink guy came down to find me go eat supper at arnd 2 am. and we ate till bout 630am.
and i dint sleep at all, cos i'm meeting the boy at 8am!
kinda lazy to type out the exact happenings, u guys can come and ask me if u're so kpo like nat! haha.
and the picts, if i'm not in a lazy mood, mabe i'll post them. hee!
anyway bigggy huggs to the lovely boyfren who spent the day with me from 8am to the next day 3am :))))))) thanks for everything that u've done. MUACK! LOVE U LOTS =D

and as tt kpo nat reminded me on wednesday the 3rd of Jan, its my 5th aniversary at nydc :)

today i hear a very inspiring quote somewhere -"do not think of what u dun have, but think of what u have :)"
i thank God for everything in life so far :))))))

NEW YEAR, NEW BEGINNINGS.

2007-01-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

in bout half an hour time, i'll be a year older :(
and that dumb dumb jackjack called just now to rub salt into my wound!
so evil. *WAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DUN WANNA BE A YEAR OLDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dun wanna be as old as tt auntie munting!!!!! HEE HEE! shhhhhh...

as for some frens who been asking me what i want for my bird day, especially roy. lol... i'm really not lack of anything. so u guys can save ur money to buy ' to and fro' airplane ticks to paris for my next birthday aights :D hongyan say she'll buy it in ten years time! hahahaha!
anyway okay i seriously need a bolster. or better still, steal that bolster from tt guy living in amk ave 6 and pass it to me kay :)
please dun buy all those cutesy stuffs, as well as those that take up too much space, cos as u know, i'm staying with my aunt now...so space is kinda very limited. :))))))

and i seriously dunno why mummy is so excited bout my birthday -__-''

WELCOME YEAR 2007 :D
it will be a good year i hope :)))))

I FEEL OLD!!
WAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

HELLO FROM YESTER-YEARS.

2006-12-30T02:24:00.000+08:00

i really should start blogging right now, or else i might as well close down my blog. MUAHAHA :)

well, apologies for the absense, cos i'm like damn busy during the holidays! even more busy than during school term! heh heh heh..but such buzzzyyy lifestyle is good :) not that kind of buzzyy stress, its that kinda buzzzyy happy-time-flies-so-fast kind. :D

holidays are filled with lotsa gatherings(poly, supper with jellyfish and gang, ktv sessions, wendy's potluck), lotsa activities(east coast cycling, shopping around with yan,seng, yc, raine esp, pool sessions with diff companies, rock climbing with pala), lotsa cam-whoring :)), lotsa working at the cafe, lotsa time spent with family, and most importantly lotsa TIME SPENT WITH THE DARLING BOY!!!!! heeheeeee...having fun slacking at his hse (cos he's sucha lazy pig :))), going out with his frens-practically made up for the little time spent during school term.

xmas eve wasn't that good though, we had a major drama. MAJOR I TELL U! almost want to break up with him that kind. HEE :) then after that, i realise tt although its mainly his fault, i do play a part in the whole drama too...should have leave him alone and be more understanding, and not add more fire with tt kinda fucked-up attitude :) sorry darling.
and xmas day itself......dotzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. i seriously feel damn guilty la, and i 'm really sorry for spoiling every lil surprise tt he planned, especially his mum's cooking :(((
and like what he said, if i can't put down my own pride, than i really shouldn't asked him to put down his stupid pride.
oh well, it really was a terrible xmas this year, but at least it is a lesson learnt :)))

anyway holidays are coming to an end soon, and i really really wish to make use of the remaining week left to spent more time with the boy, before evil school starts again.
sigh, on the brighter side, its just 4 months of endurance :)
last term was really a very trying period for both of us, and i'm glad we made it thru.
now i only hope that he will not worry tt sucha thing will happen again.
studies are more important, and i'm REALLY REALLY PROUD OF HIS RESULTS :D

also, thanks to yan yan for that froggie phone thingie :) diana(dar's fren) for that xmas pressie :) munting for that mochi thingie :), mingli for that lil white-button-chocs :) and to roy for listening during that uh period :)
lorraine's back from the states (with chocs :)))))!!! wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

xmas gathering with the normal gang was a disaster, like how i hate screwed up plans, what more last minute cancellation. lucky the boy's been there, or else i think i'll feel damn fiery and upset tt day.

lastly, its a few days more before i get another year older :( i seriously feel damn old, can't imagine how it will feel like if i'm 25 :((((( not asking for much on that day, just his company will do :D
and of cos close frens who remember with simple greetings! :) guess daddy will always get tt same choc cake! hee!

and i'm really sick of messaging people for certain activities and getting no replies. at least the basic courtesy is to give a reply, yes or no. :)

i seriously need to start learning to swim asap! the boy's nagging :(

thank u for being so understanding :)

its been years since we last took a picture together, doesn't it seems like a replay of yester-years?
hah!

SOMETIMES.

2006-12-14T00:52:00.000+08:00

you know, sometimes when certain things went wrong, or rather stagnated at an undesirable stage, you yearn for another chance to start all over again.
you badly wish for another chance to make things right again, to find that familiar-happy bubbles kinda feeling again, or to turn back the clock and prevent things from turning out the way they are right now.
sometimes (if u're lucky), u get another chance.
but more often than not, that oh-so-familiar saying -"that's life" sinks in, and we're left to deal with accepting the inevitable.
acceptance is kinda the later stage i guess, where all hope has been given up, all will has been exerted and all courage has been shown.
it takes a lil more than courage, determination and effort to try and make things right again.
its a lil more than that..but at this moment, my mind can't really fathom.
maybe hope does keeps one going.. but at tt lil corner of our minds, we ask ourselves -"till when?" how long will the wait gonna be?
so somehow or another, everything will eventually die out...hope, passion, desire, determination.
courage is still of the utmost importance i guess. u take the first step out, u face it bravely (rather then wallowing in self-misery), embrace the changes.
u either succeed or u fail.
if u succed, congratulations :)
if u fail, take it as a blessing in disguise :)

i'm glad i'm given another chance.
for those who are not given a second chance, recite -> "that's life" :D

i'm thankful for life's simple blessings too..thanks mummy dearest for tt new handphone and a whole lot more others, daddy for just being there always, and for the friends that never fail to brighten my day up. and of cos to that WONDERFULLLL boyfriend who kept complaining tt i'm eating alot of junk food, yet passed me two big bag of chips! :))))) (p.s...its finishing soon..heehee)

recently the boy's at ntu, so kinda hard to buggg him out for supper (no, i dun wanna travel to ntu :) ), and i've been working night shifts for the whole week so far..so kinda hard bugginggg him.

tomoro's re-enrolment day, and hopefully gets to cable-ski after tt- provided it dun rain and tt pms girl wanna cable-ski. haha! and then off to CHOMPCHOMP for food i guess..with the ny gang.

i'm stuck on ur smell! hee hee!

HAPPY WEDNESDAY.

2006-12-07T02:08:00.000+08:00

wheeeeeee!!!
today is a happy day!
cos:

1) i went shopping (YES SHOPPING!) with the boy :)
-TSK TSK..must be a lucky day...going shopping with someone who hatesssss shopping! heh.
okayokay, must confess..supposed to accompany him get his stuffs...but! ahhh...temptation...

2) i bought alot of nonsense - (as said by him - WASTE MONEY!!) MUAHAHAHAHA.

3) I LOVE MY NEW PURCHASES! all the funny looking boxes!

4) he carried my nonsense purchases around.

5) i had fun with my auntie umbrella :)

6) traffic jams are kinda fun!

7) get to see and cuddle his cute lil doggieeeeeeeeee...

8) i ate 'unappreciated sushi',- supposedly for the ulcer boy. haha!

9) watched tt scary show at his house.

10) i like his bolster! (must find a way to steal it. shhhh...)

11) had fun squashing his tummy throughout the show, and poking his chest with my jaw.

heh heh heh.

tomoro meeting darling yanyan!!! YAY!!! :)

DONALD DUCK

2006-12-06T05:35:00.000+08:00

OMG!

time passes by so fast!

exam results are gonna be out in like a few hours time??!!!!

holidays=happy
happy=holidays
holidays=happy time flies
happy time flies= sad
holidays=sad.

so holidays=happy? or sad?

MUAHAHAHAHA!

LOLA.

2006-12-01T00:52:00.000+08:00

i'm tired.
i'm so lazy to update.
still,
nevermind.

to curb some curious minds,
well..

everything's fine.
its just the beginning in fact.
a long road ahead which needs lotsa efforts.
compromisation.
adaptation.
sacrifices.

the boy's been terribly sweet.
beautiful flowers.
movie.
cute penguin.
swensens.
'shell' earrings.
understanding.
closeness.
sea breeze.
talks.
promises.
hugs and kisses :D

if only relationships are always like that.
ya right, u wish.

how nice.
and i need to break thru some mental barriers.

two very different people.
seems hard.
but we'll work things out.
cos u have faith.
and so , so do i.

resolution:
get into ur life the way u wan me to.
so i'm gonna bugggg u every now and then!
MUAHAHAHAHA.
and of cos, not forgetting...
swimming lessons.
lastly diving.

diving, diving, diving , diving.....
but please give me time .

WHAT I DID LAST SUMMER! HAH!

2006-11-24T05:49:00.000+08:00

at this point of time, i'm still contemplating whether should i blog or not..even though i've already started my first sentence//hmmmph :)

so lazyy to update my blog since the end of exams. two or three posts here and there..kinda like ripped off from somewhere..lyrics u know (the previous entry) heh.

anyway lets see..
exams end on the 10th, and now is the 24th...
so what have i been doing all this while??!

well, i taken ample time out to rest of cos, and also i've been working diligently at the cafe, and not forgetting catching up with all my babes and hunks! muahahaha.

okayokay, i cant really remember where i when, what i did.
thanks to pictures though, they kind of refresh my memories.

on the 10th itself, after my last paper, i had a wonderful time eating. literally.
noon was chitchat session cum subway lunch with yan and pala at holland v.
listening to pala talk about her experiences was like..WOW! its like having tt kinda 'deja-vu' feeling.

next, met up with the ny ppl to marina's steamboat. veryyyyy yummyy :p
thanks to Roy for fetching us here and there. and then off to ktv session (yan where are the picts?? heh.) and then nice roy sent us all home, to different parts of S'pore. lol.

on the 11th and 12th, worked full-shifts at the cafe :)

on the 13th, celebrated that lil hammie NAT's birthday at coastes sentosa.

in the toilet! haha. toilet so pwettiee okay!

me and seivon :)

the other 3 who are left out in the grp pict :)

from the 14th to the 16th, i seriously can't really remember what i did.
only lil bits and pieces. i knew i met seivon to buy nat's present at bugis village. sorry for making von waited for so long too..she's real nice about it. and then, i rushed off to work. 15th i think.
14th i think i spent time with my family.
16th ermz, i think i met up with mun, mich and zhi. we ate at newyorknewyork. the food is kinda nice...just dun order "jelat" stuffs like the dumb dumb munting! hahaha.
before that i think i was rushing out some important documents.

17th was work at the cafe. after work, headed to Cafe Iguana (i think) at boatquay to chill with most of the ny peeps. actually it was kinda boring. but supper later on at balestier was...POWER! haha. maybe cos roy and ash was there, after mia-ing for like the earlier part.

picts are with yanyan!!

and i went home at like close to 6am in the morning??!!

again, thanks to roy for sending us all home :))))

supper picts are with ASH??!!

18th was damn tiring. due to the previous night madness. and i worked full shift!

19th was some family function. i heart mommy!

20th was finally having some peace and quiet. built up energy those kind. heh. had a good time slacking at home and then off to dinner with daddy!

21th was supposed to meet ah hao! but that poor guy had fever :( hope tt he's better.
met up with jiao jiao and ban instead.
ate at chinatown with ban. jiao joined us later for ktv session. and the room is so cool la..those kinda "jap" style. no sofa kind :)
after which we headed to jiao house to plan for the upcoming xmas party. and supposedly overseas trip! heh. we stayed overnight at her place. and i stayed up the whole night watching vcd whereas the other two piggy slept "_" hahaha.
and then we had prata for breakfast!
reached home around 1pm on the 22th. worked at 6pm :( damn shack at work cos dint sleep the whole night! gosh. but its fun working with the sia cha bor schenelle at hotside :D after work i was damn shack la, 1030 on the dot rushed home. i just knew i needed to get home soon or else ill faint or something heh. dint take my usual 15 mins walk home..boarded a bus instead. felt kinda bad for not helping carmen with her closing cos she kinda ended late, but i seriously had no more energy left :( hope she wun take it to heart or something.

haha, so cute!

23th was spent working, morning 1030am to 6pm. met mummy and daddy for dinner. thanks mummy for the wantan, chix wings, pears from home :))))

other than that, during spare time in between, i surfed the net, checked out those courses to take like rockclimbing, swimming etc(have enrolled!those who are going please remember its next monday! who else interested pls contact me asap!), updated my friendster, blog, photoshopped etc. heh.
u can refer to my friendster account for photoshopped picts! hee. i designed it the way i like, so if u've any comments, please keep it to urself, or u can sent me a mail :)))), sleepinggg right thru the noon with daddy's constant nagging was a normal routine. heh. i've been a good girl too, packing my wardrobe..a lil only..still not perfect..and looking at the tons of clothes really gives me a headache. oh yea. i've did some shopping too. again i know. please forgive me, i think i can't live without shopping. heee.
and mommy still haven get me my new phone :(

as for today, the 24th, will be meeting up with lorraine later! catch some movie, shop or something.

tomorrow will be working full-shift at the cafe.
sunday too , half day, and then its off to beng's 21st bday :)

next monday rock climbing, and next tue meeting jiao and ban again! wheeeee!
wed..hopefully will get to see him..better not place high hopes. thurs to sun will most prolly be working and meeting seng for bball!

wanna thank ban and jiao for just listening. giving the most-needed advice. u guys are still my besties! and please do not assume that i'll have no time for u guys..heh..no matter how busy, u guys will have priority :)

with all these activities, its no wonder the holidays pass by so fast!

awaiting next sem, and its graduation day in the blink of an eye! time flies!

u're at that lil corner, i'll dig u out now and then :) hearts.

A Girl Like Me

2006-11-21T03:17:00.000+08:00

Some girls play the game
They all walk and talk
And they dress the same
Nothing’s New To Say
Don't they realize
That it's so easy to see
Right though their disguise

Makes me wonder why
When the whole world’s turning left
It's when I'm going right
I need someone to let me be
Just who I am inside

Cause a girl like me
Is just a lil' different from all the rest
And a girl like me
Never Gonna Settles for Second Best
Could it be a boy like you
Give me anything if I asked him to
To take all my dreams
And then make them true
Show me all the reasons that you
Ought to be with a girl like me
Just like me

Possibility
Got me trippin'
Thinkin' of what could be
Between you and me
Still I need to know
Should I keep this feelin'
Or let it go
I can't wait no more
So now's the time
To speak your mind
And show me what you feel
So tell me if you
Want to take a chance
On something real

Cause a girl like me
Is just a lil' different from all the rest
And a girl like me
Never Gonna Settles for Second Best
Could it be a boy like you
Give me anything if I asked him to
To take all my dreams
And then make them true
Show me all the reasons that you
Ought to be with a girl like me
Just like me

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Catch me now before I fall
I wish I may, I wish I might
Find the Answer here tonight

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Catch me now before I fall
I wish I may, I wish I might
Find the Answer here tonight

When the whole world's turning left
It's when I'm going right
I need someone to let me be
Just who I am inside
Cause a girl like me
Is just a lil' different from all the rest
And a girl like me
Never Gonna Settles for Second Best
Could it be a boy like you
Give me anything if I asked him to
To take all my dreams
And make them true
Show me all the reasons that you
Ought to be with a girl like me

Just like me

WHEN THE WORLD WAS BEAUTIFUL.

2006-11-20T05:01:00.000+08:00

Do you remember when the world was beautiful?
when nothing had flaws?
when we didn't have to think about whether or not we'd grow up happy or sad because we lived for the moment?

we played outside for hours because we could--homework only took about fifteen to twenty minutes.

we didn't have to think about who-likes-who, but there was an occasional kindergarten romance.

girls played with barbies and boys played with matchbox cars, and we had birthdays at Macdonalds.

we didn't cry over break ups or fights, we cried over falls and paper cuts;
we cried if we were away from our parents, away from home.

we never cared who wore what, because it didn't matter;
all that mattered was that we were having fun.

moms did hair and dads tied ties, and no one was embarassed by what their parents said.

we listened to the backstreet boys, nsync, britney spears, and the spice girls and we made up dances to their songs, performed for our parents.

we didn't eavesdrop on conversations and we usually do not lie.

we played games like monopoly, masak masak.

nobody cared if the girls played outside with the boys, because everyone knew that no girls would get serious with them.

we read picture books and helped bake cookies for christmas.

nobody had much more responsibility for anything other than brushing your teeth in the morning and feeding the dog, much less worrying about if the garbage was taken out, and cramming for a test.

we didn't know what the word pollution meant and we had no idea there was such a thing as depression.

the "S word" was "shoot" and the "D word" was "darn".

simple magic tricks amazed us, and we never knew that there wasn't really any magic involved.

we were afraid of ghosts and boogeymen, and we ran into mom and dads room if we had a nightmare.

we didn't need to invite someone over to play with, because we had imaginary friends.

we weren't afraid to catch bugs, and we had earth worms.

for birthdays we gave hand-made cards instead of the kind you buy at hallmark.

we danced to things like "the hokey pokey", and we had sing-along tapes.

we watched disney movies and couldn't sleep unless we had our favourite blankey or stuffed animal.

we played on swingsets and we had relay races with the neighbors.

everyone had training wheels on their bike, and we drove around in cars bought at toys-r-us.

we all made forts out of anything we could find--blankets, clothespins, couches, tables, chairs, pillows--anything.

we layed in the grass for hours and made shapes out of the clouds and had fisher price toys.

all the girls had imaginary bake ovens.

all the boys had a foam football.

the only card game we knew how to play was old maid, and the only t.v. shows we watched were on kids channel.

you might remember are winnie the pooh, and hello kitty.

we climbed trees and coloured outside the lines with crayola crayons.

we skinned our knees and made bouquets out of dandelions.

no one saw what was coming, and it hit us before we could resist it...
these are the days we will always remember, the times we were truly happy and didn't slam doors.

these are the times we felt alive

this is for the kids who remember when the world was beautiful.

"Mommy, bring me back to those beautiful days :( "

BEAUTIFUL GARDEN. NOT!

2006-11-13T02:56:00.000+08:00

i'm dying from a splitting headache. like right now.

its either the weather's been horrible, or its just me.

my tongue is dry, my skin is dry, my lips is bloody red, and my head is killing me this few days.

and my legs are aching due to working full shifts again after so long for the past two days.
but i kinda like such torture. LOL.

exams are over, in the midst of holidays. so i'm now planning one whole list of stuffs to do.
-rock climb cert
-some important documents
-jet skii (pala says there is!!)
-wake board
-learn swim
-shopping! (targeted lotsa clothes heh.)
-haw par villa, zoo, sentosa
-buy xmas presents
-pack my wardrobe and school books
-salsa (more or less decided)
-blading
-ktv
-watch that serial shows
-and after so long , i've not taken tt yamaha final grade exam. mum's been nagging.
-and others
(not forgetting work now and then to earn that income to support sucha lifestyle. heh)
so many things to do, so little time!
confirm gonna forsake some :(

school related - ( shyt, the criteria for degree with distinction has gone up, like u gotta get distinctions for every module every semester without fail before u can qualify for it! like wth..and they let us know of such changes during the 3rd sem?! freak.)

so far its 1 high dist, 3 dist, and 4 credits for the last two sem.
1 high dist can compensates for 1 credit.
so i'm lacking by like 3 credits? so i gotta get 3 high ds without any credits for the coming results and final sem next year. like wth. chances are slim. very slim...
if its the old point systems, its nothing much to worry. would have hit it just nice.
now its like...!!!!!
ITS SO FREAKING UNFAIR TO CHANGE THE POINTS SYSTEM NOW, COS WE'VE HAD ALREADY ROUGHLY ESTIMATED, MADE WAY FOR ALLOWANCES JUST TO HIT THAT DESIRED POINTS.
CRAP.
i cant imagine if i get a pass. thats like so totally gone.
maybe i should have more faith and look on the brighter side of things.

as for work, its really fun and crappy working with those people.
hope wendy's happy at her new job.
and i cant wait for potluck at her house! ppl remember its 5th december!!

i''ve been trying to get myself very busy for the past few days and also the coming weeks so that i wun miss him.
somehow it works so far. practically reached home dead tired.
still somehow he always appear now and then.
but somehow it doesn't seems as hurtful as that period.
many people asked: "hows u and him?"
thanks for the concern, but sometimes i really dunno how to reply.
maybe like things are kinda "not sure"
maybe cos we haven talk bout it.
and i need some answers.
kinda glad that he said to meet him on the 29 nov, right after he had his last paper.
and really appreciate those wee hours "good night" messages from him occasionally.
short and simple but can sense his presence and concern even though he's busy and most prolly tired at sucha times. yet that kind of "i actually bothered to msg u cos i remember u b4 i sleep"
u know that kinda feeling that warms u up inside?
somehow maybe he's beginning to understand a lil. and more sensitive.

i dun ask for much, just that the lil things i'm concern about, i really do hope he'll do it.
anyway tt's not really the time to talk about it now.

deep inside, guess i'm hoping for his exams to be over quickly..so i can have my boyfriend back again from evil school and exams.
yet, another part of me is kinda scared. kinda scared that i'll blank out, or jus wanna escape from reality, or perhaps like nothings really wrong, just that i need to be more understanding.

remember nizam told me once :"if i love someone, i'm gonna love 90%, and take back 10%..so i've something to fall back on."
its like a knockout statement, no one ever said that before. and i'm thankful to God for having nizam arnd at that time.
its like somehow its true, and it really works.

i'm trying to take back 30 % now.
that serious.
cos i dunno wanna hurt and fall.
maybe i'm a tad too sensitive and easily hurt, so i need more protection.
hahahaha.

but i promise, after that talk or compromise or watever, i gonna give 95 % :)))))))
if it works out thats it.

right now, just really praying hard for him to score well, take good care of himself, and that temper of his to be "milder" esp under such stressful conditions.
at least he's got one close buddy Mr Garvin around too..so hope tt at least there's someone arnd him to remind him to take care of himself...just dun do the opposite and make him more angry. HEH HEH.

after all, i do miss my boyfriend lots.
i miss the laughters, the movies, his piss-off face, that cheeky grin, that tired face, the hand-holdings, the hugs, the crappiness and many more.

lastly, happy birthday to NATALIE JEAN HO!
will see her at her party tmr at sentosa. soundds like fun :)

and i really hope the other just stops all his nonsense.

i think i'm getting quite sick of my fringe
grow fringe grow!
heh.

DESTRUCTIVE POWER.

2006-11-09T22:21:00.000+08:00

hello!

I'M JIM JONES WONG.

I'VE LEAD SEVERAL HUNDREDS TO COMMIT MASS SUICIDES

MUAHAHAHA.

HEAVEN HOLDS A PLACE FOR THOSE WHO PRAYS.

2006-11-07T01:40:00.000+08:00

helllo hellooo helllooooo!!!

i'm in holiday mood already although i've still got one last paper left this coming friday :))))

the past few days were spent working and having fun, and i've yet to touch on readings for the final paper..ha!
maybe cos i've already studied for that classtest that tested on practically all topics 'cept one, and also i think most of the questions requires practical knowledge (crapping and bullshits should help get thru) MUAHAHAHA.
so i'm still going to bum around and do last minute revision.

had so much fun yesterday meeting up with NIZAM (finally back frm jarkata), ronnie, farhan and hamdan.
we went ktv-ing and eating at newton circus at arnd 4am in the morning..kekeke.
anyway it was quite a new experience ktv-ing with malay song..lol..and i'm sure farhan and hamdan had fun listening to chinese songs too. AND nizam can sing chinese songs!!! wth..i was so impressedddd.
the chit-chating sessions were wonderful..and i truely learnt alot of things.
its amazing listening to someone mature who's "been there, done that" talks about life, love, humans, work, religion and such.
somehow it made me grow up a little :)
it also made me realised how scary certain people can be..like what they say "never judge a book by its cover"..this was very much proven yesterday when i found out so much horrifying truths.
the worst part is i know these people! and it also concerns an EX-CLOSE FRIEND's boyfriend.
since she no longer treasure our friendship and dun even wanna give room for explanations, i told myself not to be so overtly concern.
but shit, a part of me felt so sympathetic.

anyway we should not believe things that we've heard, but believe things that we've seen with our own eyes. but those things that they mentioned about are things that they seen with their own eyes, so given their credibility level, it's kinda hard not to believe.

so much politics, so much shit too.

and so many people are leaving ny soon.

in actual fact i really do not care much, just work in small lil cozy wheelock outlet, talk to those people i like, ignore those insignificant ones, have fun pranking around, making life difficult for the fatty ah nesh (MUAHAHAHA..KIDDING KIDDING..HE CALLS ME FAT BUTT KAY!! so he's "meaner" :)) )

so i guesss..this post should come to an end now...or u guys will complain tt i sound so whinyyyy.

HEE HEE!

U'RE GETTING ON MY NERVES.

2006-11-05T02:13:00.000+08:00

if i avoid ur calls & messages, u ask me: "am i irritating u?".
(i would like to say YES!. but i hate to hurt u.)

if i still hang out with u as a friend, u think u've a chance.

if i ignored u, u said u feel hurt.

when i refused to go out with u, u asked me:"how can u treat me this way".
(seriously, who are u to me. maybe a friend, but u make it sound..)

when i told u i'm attached, u dun seem to give a damn.

so stop all ur persistent acts.
u're real nice, only as a friend.
and i dun want to see u in another way.

sometimes i pity u.
but love should not be a case of pity.

so if u still want this friendship, please do get this message across.

Jaded.

MONEY'S NOT EVERYTHING :)

2006-11-04T01:09:00.002+08:00

THIS IS SO FUNNY!

Hahaha.

CRAP.

2006-10-30T23:53:00.000+08:00

today's paper was a KILLER!

and i'm sure there are unanimous agreement everywhere.

u can practically hear the whines and the feeling of exasperation everywhere once the paper has ended.

so for those who left early, how fortunate :)

and what a huge amount of weightage placed on EVALUATION!
is EVALUATION really that important for goodness sake????!!
how bout socialisation???????? career development?????

chik nuggets.

fine. no good dwelling on the past.

for now i've got a huge load of readings to do!
22 chapters mind u!

CRAP.

i think i got funny parents.
adorably cute, yet quite embarrassing at times.
cos they do funny things in public!

JUST SOMETIMES.

2006-10-29T00:29:00.000+08:00

sometimes i feel like giving up.

sometimes i feel like holding on tight.

sometimes i feel frustrated.

sometimes i tell myself that "patience is a virtue".

sometimes i feel elated.

sometimes i feel horribly upset. (like now)

sometimes i have the urge to laugh uncontrollably.

sometimes i feel like hiding in one corner, breaking into tears.

sometimes i feel like everything's fine.

sometimes i feel like everthing's not.

sometimes i want to resolve all disputes, conflicts.

sometimes i want to leave it all alone and escape from reality.

sometimes i feel safe and secure with u.

sometimes u fill me with doubts.

sometimes i really love u.

sometimes i might just hate u.

sometimes.

mood swings horribly gone wrong.

HOW ABOUT UR SOMETIMES?

food for thought

2006-10-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

URGHHH.
my stomach never seems to stop growling.

it keeps calling for food!

i ate one whole macdonald meal and an additional burger for dinner yesterday.
plus desserts.

and now i'm happily eating CKICKEN IN A BISKIT after midnight.

GOODNESS ME.

i've not eaten this much for such a long period of time. maybe only during exam period.
avid readers of my blog should know that everytime during exam periods, there will definitely be posts on FOOD!
HEH HEH.

anyway, studying can be damn boring.. soooo....i fooled around with my camera :)

THIS IS OVER! YAY!

AND THIS WHOLE STACKS OF NOTES ARE NEXT!
-i seriously do not know what to focus on. so heck, just study the whole damn thing!

and this is ME AND THE MESS I CREATE EVERYTIME I STUDY!

oh and i wanna let the whole world knows that AH SENG SLIMMED DOWN!!!!
*GASP!!!

and this is damn scary! but the clothes are nice :D

TILL I SEE U GUYS AGAIN!

MISS ME!

HEH!

and I MISS U .

I LOVE BLACK AND WHITE PICTS!
:)))

MY PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED. LIKE ALWAYS. THANK GOD :)))))

2006-10-23T23:35:00.000+08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

time passes sooo fast...another day more to my first paper!

and as usual, preparation for exam gives me a feverish high..

burning , burning hot.

MUAHAHAHA.

OKAY , maybe not that ridiculous...but a slighhtttttt fever....

and it should go away by tmr, NO IT MUST GO AWAY!

HEH HEH HEH.

i think i'm quite mad.

anyway today went to VIVO CITY with chuan and seng. damn huge la the place...lotsa shopping to do......!!!! LIM HONG YAN GO WITH ME SHOPPING AND KAIKAI KAY??? LOL.
took lotsa pictures too! but i'm too lazy and tired to upload any now...so i'll leave it to some time later yea!

after tat proceeded to my normal "study" hangout at 24hr mac to study....and i think i saw darling's friend. HE LOOKED SOOO CONCENTRATED IN STUDYING LA...soo so soo SERIOUS MAN. and kinda stress. HAHAHAH.... shhhhhh.

so yeh, all the best for those taking exams as well.

and the little things he does makes me SMILE :)
U'RE DEFINITELY NOT FORGOTTEN TOO!

DISLIKES.

2006-10-23T03:16:00.000+08:00

she dislikes her for hiding all that love inside.

she dislikes the way her gut feelings feels about her.

she dislikes the way she always tries to be there for him.

she dislikes the way she hides all those love under the false pretense of friendship.

she dislikes the way she tries to get close.

she dislikes the way she gives advices to solve problems.

she dislikes the way she tries to hide all those sadness and heart pain deep inside.

she dislikes her for acting so buddy-like.

she dislikes her for those constant thoughts that might be running arnd in her mind.

she dislikes the way she tries to find out more about her and him.

she dislikes her sarcasm.

she dislikes the way she pins hope on him in some ways or another.

she dislikes her for being her.

i dislike u.

DEAD BORED.

2006-10-21T23:40:00.000+08:00

did i ever mention that STUDYING IS SO SOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BORING!!! YAWN~~~~~~~

and Mummy's been feeding me like a PIG!!!

my stomach is like so damn bloated (even at this hour)....and i swear that not even another drop of water can get in!

been eating soooo much for the past few days..thanks to Mummy dearest. Daddy's not anywhere better...he's being fed like a hippotamus*(eh, its hippopo or hippo???).
MUAHAHAHA.

perhaps she senses that i need some comfort food :D

i hate EXAM PERIOD! its like ~~c'mon, just get over it and sua...

sudd reflected back on the past, remembered the first exam that i took in SIM,the boy's been so supportive. he bought a pencil case (filled with pens and other stationery), self-decorated a lovely pen and a note of encouragement. came down to my place in the night just to pass it to me. and not forgetting that comfort hug. it seems so sweet. i miss the way he used to be.

yet, i felt like i couldn't do anything for him for his first exam in NTU. except-just leaving him alone, dun bother him, give him lesser worries, no quarrels, no arguments :(

all i can do is to wait patiently for the end of his exam on the 29th Nov to sort things out. things might end on a good note, or might not.
it seems so long away..yet i know i must wait.
if we can't reach a compromise, then ...
i dunno. i dun wanna think too much, just wanna give my best shot in STUDYING. likewise for him too.

u seem to be constantly appearing in my head, i need to SHAKE U OFF! SHAKE U OUTTAAA MY BRAIN SYSTEM!
GRRRRRR!!!!!
just remember ETHICS AND GOVERNANCE, HUMAN RESOURSE DEVELOPMENT, MARKETING RESEARCH AND LEADERSHIP AND MANAGEMENT!!!!!
OKAY!
and the presentation grade is a surprise. a wonderful, happy surprise :D

oh by the way, i had dreams the last few days..and they ain't any good :(

HAPPY CELEBRATION

2006-10-17T14:52:00.000+08:00

my head feels so whozzzyy now! after sleeping for like so long :)

anyway yesterday was such an enjoyable day! whooohooooo! bwahahahhahaha.

limhongyan celebrated her 21st birthday at ALOHA CHALET...and it was damn freaking far...kinda like those isolated haunted place. MUAHAHAHA...kidding kidding...nevertheless, despite the distance, the party was a huge success....swarms of people!!! i guess cos so many people loves her la...so they came from all four corners of Singapura to attend her party. so eh girl...u should know u are one very blessed lil girl! heh. we love u !!

okay, back to the party details..
the nydc crazy bunch of people reached there arnd 9 plus...like so late....but then..due to some last min present shopping AND ICE CREAM EATING right???!!! MUAHAHA.

our form of transport is.....TADA! ...................

LORRY!!
YAY. THANKS TO JO'S BF!

our hair is so messy,
our pictures are so blur,
we look so funny ,
cos of the WIND!

and then someone started talking bout ghost stories..
so when we're near those haunted places -the hospi, and that red house, kinda freaky la...
what if THE LORRY SUDD BREAK DOWN THERE??
MUAHAHAHAA. we'll be so screwed :)

so we reached there, and everybody starts singing the birthday songs (all kinda language. LOL)
this is the birthday girl!

the singing session..look at the guy in RED!
its her brother!
so enthu! heh.

then we started eating...and i tell u!
nydc people are hungry MONSTERS!!!
MUAHAHAHAHA.....THE WHOLE TABLE IS LIKE FILLED WITH FOOD LA...ESP THE OTAH SKINS....HOW MANY FREAKING OTAHS DID WE EAT???!!!!!!
and they strongly declared that FOOD IS NOT ENOUGH. COS EVERYONE IS LIKE SOME BOTTOM-LESS PIT :D
sausages, chix wings are delicious! in future if u guys wanna marinate ur chix wings, pls find limhongyan's mother! but beware, cos she looks very fierce one...heh heh.

oh yea ms sijia super funny la, she was like staring at my eh fren with that FOOD-LOOK ON HER FACE! muahaahahahhahah. the I-WANT-FOOD, I-ONLY-AM-INTERESTED-IN-FOOD-LOOK, OTHER-THAN-TT-DUN-TALK-TO-ME! HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEE.

the lil male schnauzer that was wearing some pink shoes..
i asked why and the owner goes...
"its a long story...."
MUAHAHAHAHAAH.

and i'm sooo happy to see my goody gooodyy friends!!!

ms banana and me! *so happy to see her!

then this guy.....aiyo.
HAHAHAHHA.
still he's our goodyyyy goooddddyyyyyyyyy fren!!

our three-shot pict after like soooo long!

and then we photo-whored..so these are the random picts....

and how could we miss out SABO-ING the birthday girl!

heh. nice nice nice! not everyone who wants flour on their body can have their wish granted kay..... hehe

after that, many went back.. :(
so thats left with me, carmen, seivon, terence, roy, alfred and wendy.

we played many silly games, the true and dare is damn scary..ahem.....
damn cheezy la..gotta dance some pole-dance, kiss some cheek, lick some ear, piggy back, lift some guy shirt, get some girl number, etc etc......
and we know some naughty lil secrets! heh heh heh.

we ate MACDONALDS LATE AT NIGHT TOO! thanks to yanyan!
and then wendy must be damn happy....met her erm....dream guy. :)))
*PSSTTT....but think he kinda peverted...esp when he suggested that pole-dance thingy.....lol

then the guys went to sleep, wendy also.
so the crazy women - me, seivon and carmen stayed up the WHOLE NIGHT to play pranks on roy and terence!
seivon with her ghostly looks on camera is damn freaky by the way..i'll show u soon!!
carmen rocks too! hhahha.. she's LIKE VERY MISCHEIVOUS LA!!! OMG!!!!

damn super HILARIOUS THOSE PRANKS, WAIT TILL I GET THE PICTS FROM YAN!

when i get home i was damn shacked la, must be all those pranks. muahahahahhahaha.

glad to see so many people i miss, the bhs ppl, nydc ppl, sim ppl (cept JEETHA!!!!!!!! :) ).

thanks for ALL THOSE FUN AND LAUGHTER!
thanks for those emo talks, and sijia for her advice.whose bf is ALSO like sometimes so like u know...!!!! heh.

many more outings kay CRAZY NYDC-RIANS!

and for now....i gootttaaa go ISOLATE MYSELF AND STUDY HARD HARD!!!!! BOUT 9 MORE DAYS TO MY FRIST PAPER!!

WILL BE FREE ONLY AFTER NOV 10!

so meanwhile, MISS ME!
HEH.

let me know u're still there,
don't let me forget u.

?

2006-10-13T05:25:00.000+08:00

i dunno what's wrong.

u made us sound so wrong.

i just wanna hug u tight and never let go.

is it haunting ur mind every now and then like how it haunts mine?
do u hurt the way i do?

what's on ur mind?

u can doubt anything, but pls dun doubt my love for u.

MISSES.

2006-10-05T01:45:00.000+08:00

a simple SHOUT OUT to all these close friends that i MISS THEM SO MUCH!!!

AH SENG! (forever there)
JACK JACK! (always willing to help)
SAY CHUAN! (very nice nice nice friend)
MINGLI! (no one can replace u despite the distance)
MUNTING! (i love this woman)
MICHELLE! (always so friendly and thoughtful)
DERRICK! (very generous)
LORRAINE! (my&her best listening ear)
AH HAO! (my best talking machine)
JIAO JIAO! (my most treasured fren)
BANNY! (he's everything u want in a friend)
ZHONG CHUAN! (clown. lol.mr. suaner)
DARYN! (emo-emo-emo.hahaha)
LISA! (long-familiar friendship)
GARY! (best buddy. still. despite stupid army)
MR.GENTLEMEN! (eh. no comments. maybe a lil more than friendship)

please pardon me....i'll find lotsa lotsa time to meet up after my exam..which should be over by about a month?? =D

in the mean time, u guys can miss me alright. heh.

eh. by the way...hongyan, jeetha ..its not that i dun miss u..but i've been seeing u guys recently! heh.

anyway, i miss roy, natalie, wendy (the red shirt one), carmen, dan, iz, yong, rum (lol),amelia from work! :)

its nice to see and talk to zul & sukri again!
i miss darling's fren -kim .(i like her! heh.)
and nick's bro...hope he's doing fine.

and the cat, MIOW. we'll LIM KOPI SOON.

SUNSHINE LOVELY.

2006-10-01T03:13:00.000+08:00

the rain's stopping.
or wait, i think it has already stopped =D

for now, i'll bask in this new found sunshine, till the next storm comes around.

i heart u.

i appreciate the way u try so hard to apologise though u might still feel u've done nothing wrong.

i appreciate the way u take our problems seriously and try ur best to understand whats going wrong with us.

i appreciate the way u care so much to make things right again.

i appreciate the way u always take the first step to make up after EVERY ARGUMENTS.

though quarrels lead to tears, unhappiness, anger and disappointments, it makes me understand u better. (because u bother to explain whats really the reason for ur every doing)

i love u in many other ways, but maybe simply for those reasons above, i cldn't bear to part with u.

sorry for being such a burden.
sorry for not providing the support u need, esp when sch's such a headache for u right now.

like what u say, maybe cos the things that i care so much about is the things that u dun take to heart. to me, its a simple expectation, yet to u it's never a habit & practice to do tt.

but if doing tt will make me happy, less worried and upset, would u change?
i really hope u will.

but even if u dun, i'll patiently wait.
i'll try my best not to throw tantrums.
i'll try my best to be very understanding.
i'll try my best to tolerate.

i'll wait / a 100 years i give u :)

guess, my temper needs to be tame down a lil. its all ur fault u know.. u passed ur hot-headedness to me =D

so in future, we'll still continue to grow together okay..through happiness , arguments, sadness and disappointments.
never give up on us, patiently listen to what we're both unhappy about, learnt from it and make things better for us kay.

i regretted being so stubborn today.
maybe cos i dint know what to say to u, how to reply ur messages.
sorry for making u worried.

i miss u, and i regretted not swallowing my pride and meet up with u just now :(

love u darling boy.

count down a week till i see u. till then. .
be missing u so much.

clear, cloudy skies. :)

VERY MUCH AFFECTED.

2006-09-28T00:27:00.000+08:00

Relationships screw up when-

Being understanding becomes an entitlement, not a bonus.

Expecting the simplest thing becomes a case of being too sensitive & demanding.

The mundane parts of life never turns interesting anymore.

Being taken for granted.

Showing care and concern becomes a burden to the other party.

Worrying, missing, thinking about someone becomes unappreciated.

One parties feels not accountable to another.

Both parties stubbornly thinks that they're right.

The rainbow after the rain never seems to stay for long.

If being in a relationship means:

more upset,
more worries,
more anger,
more disappointment,
more tears,

would u rather be alone?

DUN ASK THE OBVIOUS QN WHETHER I M FINE OR NOT. DEFINITELY NOT.
BUT I M NOT A PESSIMISTIC IDIOT.

I'LL PICK MYSELF UP.

SCREWED UP.

2006-09-27T02:00:00.000+08:00

the end of today's HRD presentation takes a huge load off my shoulders
*wriggle shouders happily :D

anyway today's presentation wasn't up to expectation. obviously. *rolls eyes.

imagine.
u introduce ur team mate to present on the next part of the presentation.
she goes up on stage, looks at u weird. shakes her head and says: its not my part.

will u be fcuking piss?
or even come close to strangling her?

like wth?
though we're assessed individually, but we'll definitely lose some marks for team coordination.
screwed.

on the other hand, happy things do happen.
so proud of SAISAJEETHA PALANISAMY.
this is the most wonderful poresentation i ever seen u do.
thumbs up!

& me? my heart was thumping damn fast, when time was like so overshot!!
i need more training in public speaking. help!
i can analyse, do all the backstage kinda work.
ask me to speak, & i'll freeze inside.
maybe i dun show it alot, but i wanna be very confident and brave u know, speak with no signs of nervousness whatsoever.
hmmph.
gotta work on tt!

SIGH. NEXT UP: LEADERSHIP AND MGMT TEST
ETHICS & GOVERNANCE MAJOR MAJOR PROJ!!
DIE....
& THEN ITS THE EXAMS~~~

SORRY FOR MAKING MR CHUA WAITS FOR ONE HOUR!
VERY SORRY.
THOUGHT CLD HAVE END EARLY!
BUT...
THANKS FOR THE PATIENCE.
THANKS FOR THE LOTSA LOTSA FOOD.
THANKS FOR THE UNDERSTANDING..SENDING ME HOME WHEN I WAS DEAD TIRED..THOUGH I KNOW U PROB WANNA GO WATCH MOVIE!
thanks for wanting to put the smile back on my face.

sorry for the sarcasm.
*sometimes effort isn't enuff.
how cld u possibly still able to tolerate me....
damn.

this is us:
PICTURE STOLEN FROM PALA'S FRIENDSTER!
HAHAHAH

SHE LOVES ME. HAHAHA.

Hello.

2006-09-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

sorry guys, i've been a bad bad girl! not been blogging lately....

well......i m a busy busy girl. so pls pardon me.

projects are killing me..especially so when u're doing the compilation and final editing, & u have proj mate who loves to give u last min work, without having the decency to at least inform u of the last min lateness.

so i waited , waited & waited. till 6am.
so, "i'll sent u tonight." -means sending the next day at 10am huh. DOTZ.
not only tt, dateline is sat 1AM STATED CLEARLY IN THE MAIL.
when did i receive? monday 10am.
APPLAUD~~~~

COMPLETE WASTE OF MY PRECIOUS TIME & SLEEP.

anyway as u guys know, i'm a very forgiving person...LOL..so screw it..whatever..at least the work given is of some quality. but SHE REALLY MADE ME VERY IRRITATED & Fcuking ANGRY during the wait.
still, patience is a virtue. so i dint blow my top.

TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS -THE IMPORTANCE OF IT.
PLEASE GO & REFLECT.
or else in future, u're the one suffering.

i m freaking upset, angry & disappointed with u.
i dun wanna talk to u. maybe for a long period.
been expecting ur message/call to let me know tt u're safely back home after 3 days.
yet, none come. & when i saw u online just now..u shld know how i felt.
been missing u badly & expecting to hear from u the moment u come back.
but..
maybe i just shouldn't care nor bother too much bout u.
have it ur way.
i'm tired.

Another Significant Year.

2006-09-20T00:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2 YEARS ANNIVERSARY <3

and counting.....

I HEART U!

LOVE BLUNDER.

2006-09-15T00:59:00.000+08:00

this guy's a perfect gentlemen.

he opens the car door for u, wait till u get seated and then closes the door for u.

he messages u every now and then thinking what u're doing.

he worries that u are too stress with ur projects and constantly offers help and urges u to sleep early and not work thru late nights.

he orders the largest portion of food for u, afraid that u might get hungry.

he put in alot of hard work to make u happy :)

he sents u home everytime.

he cleans his car everytime he's fetching u.

he's not pushy, he accept a NO for a NO.

he allow u to be the first girl to see his mum.

and the lists goes on and on...i'm just starting to get to know him.
maybe its just the beginning stage.

guys are guys :D

still, how good or angelic he is, i think he can never replace another someone in my heart.
he's nice and all, makes a good boyfriend. but after giving much thoughts, i knoow i will never ever allow myself to fall in love with him.

i love my darling boyfriend. LOVE. and i think no one can even come close to compare.
he's not perfect..and perhaps lacks some qualities that the other has..but i still love him..a helluva lot.
no wonder they say love is blind. u learn to see past the flaws and love him for who he is. he might not be as sweet, caring or concern as the other...but i just can't attach a reason to it. They call it love...ahhhh...the power of Love..heh.

someone once commented:"the time together, 2 years or more is just a number, dun hold much significance..cos the heart can change so fast within a snap of a finger."
i dun really agree..to me...2 years is so much more than a number..it includes the countless happiness, smiles shared, hugs exchanges, heartbreaks, tears, sorrows, hope, kisses, waiting, sharing of dreams, promises, love.

LOVE IS SO MUCH MORE, IT KEEPS US WANTING FOR MORE...ITS LIKE WE'RE INTOXICATED.

DARLING MUM THOUGHT I WLD STRAY AND SHE GAVE ME A HUGE PIECE OF HER MIND!
HEH. THE BOYFRIEND HAS HER TOTAL SUPPORT AND ACCEPTANCE.

i know u're so stress up with school work..
but i dun wanna see u so unhappy
it hurts to see u so....
let me come close, let me share ur sorrow and worries
i wanna be right there for u.

even that short FRIENDSHIP date with the other makes me feel so damn guilty.

u have to trust me. my heart is yours alone.

sigh.

I JUST SUDDENLY FEEL THAT I WANT NO ONE ELSE BUT U.
FORGIVE ME.

TODAY, TOMORROW & 4EVER.

2006-09-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

Lop-sided.

2006-09-06T01:02:00.000+08:00

BOOOOOOOO!

been like ages since i last updated :X... but everytime i stared at blogger's blank post, i felt like dozing offfff. ha ha ha.

hmmm...so many things to blog about...that i'm kinda overwhelmed...dun really know where to start....so maybe just cut it short :)

attended so many birthday's celebrations...so many of my frens turning 21..especially arnd these few months...really happy to see them too after so long.

and i met my primary school frens! yay!! tt's definitely something to be happy bout..cos more friends are better right ? expecially when frenships goes a longggg way back like 9 years? or some even more than tt.

wat else? oh ya tt so-good-lunch cum SHOPPING spree! to celebrate Pala's birthday actually...shall post picts once i get it frm pala!

i spent lots on SHOPPING RECENTLY!!!
DIE. today just bought another 3 quart jeans and a T-shirt.
as for tt shopping spree with Pala and gang..i bought a JACKET (although i've got lke 30 over jackets??), a nice so not my style shirt and leggings, a belt, a shorts and a kinda formal shirt...but its damn cheap la.... U GUYS SHLD REALLY GO TRY TT FILIPINO SHOPPING PLACE. damn shock aren't we?? heh.

hmmm...i should really clear my wardrobe soonnn....get rid of all those so long never wear stuffss....30 plus jackets, 30 plus long pants and jeans, 20 plus tank tops, 50 plus t-shirts, 8 skirts and dresses only :), 20 plus shorts, and sports t-shirts...u dun really wanna know...SO who's desperately in need of free clothes let me know ya...or maybe i should go open a bazaar store.

oh no i'm getting smaller too...the jeans i bought today was a size smaller than my normal size.....i dun llike i dun like....i dun wan to loook like a skeleton!!!!!! maybe not tt kua zhang...but i want FATS u know....proportionate fats. girls should look sexy , and not thin :D
but actually sometimes kind of ironic...cos of some days i will FEEL FAT!!! than on some days i want to be FATTTER!! i think i've got an image problem. die..like tt time the ah nesh commented tt i looked FAT! oh my God..u know how freaking paranoid i was!!!!
i think darling likes me FAT :) did i mentioned when he pursued me tt time, i was like 58 kg? compared to the present 51 kg..u can imagine how much weight i had lost.
i waannna grow TALLL!!! i m not happy with 169 cm. i wanna be 172 at least!
yea girls.....i m a lil too demanding :D

I LIKE RETAIL THERAPY. WHO WANNA GO FOR RETAIL THERAPY PLEASE JIO ME....ESP TO BUGIS VILLAGE :) JIAO JIAO LETSSS GO!!!!!!

hmmmm.....wat else???? eh yea my bestie jiao jiao bday coming up...so helping her to invite ppl....u guys betta TURN UP!!!!

and met the darling boy and HIS FRENS! last sat for wine drinking at villa bali....its this realllyyyy cool place...nice ambience and all!!! its a good place to chill man....reasonable price...some might find it a tad too expensive...but paying for wine, what do u expect ??
its beenn sooo long since we spent time alone :( not saying its not nice to hang out with ur frens...but u know we really shld haf some time to ourselves ..JUST THE TWO OF US.

hmmmm...everytime i see her....(a fren of urs) ...i feel funny inside...like my heart will skipped a beat...maybe i'm being too paranoid..tooo 'yi xin'...but i dunno...its a girl's feeling...like she's got the hots for u. or maybe i can't handle the fact tt she's suchaaaaa good frennnn of urs.
of cos not forgetting tt she told me u're the type of guy she likes! omg.
so whenever she's arnd..i feel tt i'm not me..not being myself.
someone pleae wake me up.

i'm giving a shot at something too...something that mum encourages me to pursue...and maybe a lil part of me thinks tt i can do it too.
so maybe just give it a try, we're young...so do things tt we still can do...instead of harbouring regrets in future.... but ahhh,,,this is a lil tricky.

AND PLEASE, I REALLY CAN'T STAND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT THEMSELVES! TAKING ON AN IDENTITY OR SOMETHING...THINKING U'RE OH SOOOO COOOLLL.
GIVE ME A BREAK.

L E T H A R G I C

2006-08-29T00:08:00.000+08:00

hello! i m feeling very tired right now...but still i wanna blog so tt u guys can get an update on my current hectic life... heh.

for starters....my whole body aches like hell...this is the result of NOT doing any form of warmup before going for a 6 k run...yea 6 k like no big deal ...but u try running without warming out..then tell me how u feel :) thanks to chuan and ban who din want to do any warmup!
silly me....studied sports..and know the deadly consequences of sport injuries...YET!!!!

the run was damn shiok, but the stupid chuan's and ban's speed was a tad tooooo fast!! hello!!! this is 6k, not 2.4 k :X LOL. anyway had fun keeping up spped with them...and during our 3rd km point of run, rain came pouring down!!! yeah pouring, not drizzle!! the rain was practically hitting right on my shades....HENG got those shades..

the funny thing tt happened was i lost ban and chuan at the finishing point!! they were like 1o metre in front of me, and when i glanced up, cldn't find them. SORT OF PANIC! hah. cos my fone and wrist pouch was with ban...so i had absolutely NOTHING on me!!!

after 5 mins of searching HI & LOW~~~~... GUESS who i saw??? WE CANNOT ESCAPE FATE..HAHAHA. DESTINED TO MEET CAN.
hahahha. its my darling boyfriend! the first thing that came to my mind was...he looked so delicious! MUAHAHAHAHA. SILLY SILLY. dun ask me what delicious means...lol...cos i can't really describe it...maybe he looked just like my fav food?? HEH.

anyway managed to find ban in the end... phew.
the whole place was completely havoc...seas of people....can u imagine at the 4th km, we're still squeezing with a bunch of army guys for running space!

thanks love for the dry t-shirt :)

school is ......can't wait for all the tests, projects to be finish.

work is......okay i guess.

WHO WANTS TO RUN STANDARD CHARTERED 10 K RUN??
LET ME KNOW ASAP!

read this somewhere....i like...
LOVE IS NOT ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE U CAN LIVE WITH...
ITS ABOUT FINDING SOMEONE U CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT.
CALVIN CHENG CHUAN LIM, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT U :D its tt bad.

too many great catch pass me by..
but i never regret..
never ever think tt someone else might bring me more happiness than u do..
even thru the downs..i wanna be right there beside u..
i need no one else..
so u need not fear, need not ever doubt.
and now, another someone has appear..
but fear not...
the outcome will still be the same...
i'll stick to u...till the end.

today, tommorrow, and forever.

HELLO!

2006-08-26T03:12:00.000+08:00

boohoohoohoooo.......

just came back from unhealthy supper at Macdonalds :X
darling limhongyan is the only 'siao on' one to have unhealthy supper with me.

heh.

tonight's supper like biggg bigggg gathering like that.. MUAHAHAHAHA.
got tan ah chuan and his gf, wendy and her bf (but left early), me and yanyan - the unhealthy late nights eating crazies. and not forgetting the supper onz banny who came down orchard to have supper with us. heh. anddddddddddddd....MY PRIMARY SCHOOL NICE NICE FREN, MR CHUA SHI HAO. and his fren.

hmmm. kinda funny la the clique. than i like so stuck in between..have to entertain abit here abit there. i misss alll of them u know!!!!!!!!!!!!
of cos most happy to see ah chuan and banny after sooooo long!!!!!!
and the chua shihao not paiseh to join my large grp of frens.
:D

so anyway it was nice chit chatting and EATING! heh.
maybe yan we should often work till 11 together k..then go for supper and chit chat sessions after tt :)

very fun suaning the fatty chuan. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. and the ah ban..
but also always kena suan by them also..by now shld already get used to it..so its okay. haha.

and the CHUA SHIHAO...really must thank him. so far meet him since the chalet gathering, always drive me home. so we made a pact just now, every 10 times he drive me home, i have to sent him home 1 time (by bus! heh..dun haf car what :P ).
LOl. Hope he dun remember la :X
next week most prolly meeting him again..go play bowling i think!!!???!!

so nice to sudd 'pop up' one more fren in my life :)

andddd i'm damn excited bout the 6km run la!!!!!
yeah !!runnning with banny!!! and the stupid chuan not allowedddd to run...if not confirm damn fun! must call jiao jiao along man!!! but think she wun want to run la...somemore so early...heh.

just pray tt i can wake up early man...meet ban fer breakfast, then off to the shears bridge run!

urggghhh. so hoping we cld do the 10 k run instead....but ban got knee injury :(
NVM, NEXT YEAR!! :D

and hopefully i get to surprise someone who is running tt 21k run!!!!!! madness...heh.
timing must be zhunzhun! to catch him in time la...
the crazy chuashihao says he'll wait at the finishing point for me..LOL. lets see how true..
if he wake up damn early just to wait at the finishing line, then his brain confirm something wrong already :X

SOOOO EXCITED!!! AND PRAY....WAKE UP EARLY!!!!!
GOTTA GO SLEEP NOW...TMR WERK & THEN OFF TO MICH BDAY!!!!

nites!

a chasing after the wind...
just when can u stop being so stressed out..
stop being so occupied...
hardly see u relaxing...
always stressing urself...
be it work, school.....
sometimes i feel like asking u WHY??
i know u got a great sense of responsibility..
and wanting to fight hard for ur future...
but.i hate to see u so bothered, so troubled....so hot tempered.
life's short.
enjoy life.
maybe all this is just a chasing after the wind??
happinesss...isn't tt what matters most?
seems like we have different view of life .

.

2006-08-24T00:38:00.000+08:00

URGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

U MADE ME DAMN FREAKING PISSEDDDD OFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CANNOTSTANDITCANNOTSTANDITCANNOTSTANDIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

M I TOO SENSITIVE OR U'RE JUST TOO INSENSITIVE???

omg. its so hard to understand u.

TOLERANCE!!!

i hate it when u're in 'that' MOOD.
.
but i hate myself for acting like a spoilt brat.
urghhh..girls and their mood swings, if that's not good enuff, try adding guy's insensitivity.

wth.

if u dun irritate me, then i wldn't give u shits.

BUSY BEE

2006-08-23T00:33:00.000+08:00

i'm drowning myself in PROJECTS, RESEARCH, TESTS, PROJECTSSS, RESEARCH....DID I MENTION PROJECTSSS????

My voice still sound so manly :( or sexy . LOL.

i need to apologise to these ppl for my absense.
seng, i'm still alive :))))). lorraine :). class 4t1, i'm a baddd instructor..heh. until now still haven confirm date to meet up. derrick :) hao:) MINGLI!!!! - i miss ur important date :( married woman..dun play play ahhh.. LOL.

and why so many birthdays huh???? 21st birthdays somemore!!!!!!

help me. school work has made me this dull, no life creature :(

work at nydc has cut down drastically i think :)))) bo bian!

as for the boyfriend, he's sucha sweet heart ^_^
a fiery sweetheart. heh.

and for daddy. I LOVE. - g.w.s. GB.

DYING INSIDE.

2006-08-20T00:57:00.000+08:00

SO MUCH MIXED FEELINGS.

ANGER.
SADNESS.
DISAPPOINTMENT.
REGRETS.

TODAY WAS MEANT TO BE A HAPPY DAY! (cos i finally get to see u after a week...)
but ......

I KNOW U MEANT WELL.

BUT BEFORE U SO STRONG HEADEDLY DECIDES ON SOMETHING, PLEASE TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION MY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS.

INITIALLY I DINT WANT TO SEE A DOC. BUT GIVING MUCH THOUGHT ABOUT HOW STRONGLY U FEEL ON SEEING A DOCTOR, I DECIDED TO GO AHEAD.
BEFORE THAT ..REMEMBER WHAT U TOLD ME, U TOLD ME THAT ULTIMATELY I M THE ONE DECIDING. ITS MY HEALTH. YEA SO TRUE.
BUT IF AFTER ALL I DECIDED NOT TO SEE A DOC, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN STUDYING AT MAC ALREADY.

SO I TOTALLY DUN SEE THE POINT ON U INSISTING TO CANCEL OUR INITIAL PLAN JUST SO THAT I CAN GO BACK HOME AND REST.

U THINK I REALLY SOOO WANT TO STUDY THERE. ITS THE TIME SPENT WITH U. HOW OFTEN DO WE SEE EACH OTHER. HOW MUCH QUALITY TIME DO WE HAVE ALONE, JUST THE TWO OF US.

I WENT TO SEE THE DOC COS I DUN WAN TO SEE U SO PISSED. THAT I'M NOT HEEDING UR ADVICE. I WANT TO MAKE U LESS WORRIED FOR ME.

SO I WENT AHEAD.
AND AFTER THAT U SAID LETS GO HOME.
U KNOW HOW IT MADE ME FEEL?
U MADE ME FELT REGRETFUL.
REGRET TT I MADE THE DECISION TO SEE THE DOC.

IF WE DINT GO, WE WOULD HAPPILY BEEN STUDYING.

YES TO U I'M UNREASONABLE.
BUT SERIOUSLY SPEAKING, PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE WAY I FEEL.
U SAID SO MANY TIMES, ITS MY HEALTH, MY CHOICE!

I REALLY DUN GET IT.

WHY DO I WALK AWAY IN THE END.
IF I STOOD THERE ANY SECOND LONGER, THE TEARS WILL START TO FLOW. AND THEN I WILL HATE MYSELF FOR IT.

EVER EXPERIENCE THE FEELING OF UR HEART BEING TORN INTO TWO?
it sure hurts like hell.
f###.

SORRY TO ALL THE PEOPLE I'D PROMISED TO RUN THE SPCA RUN WITH..ESPECIALLY TO YAN, AMELIA, BOY. AND THE PROMISE WITH TERRY .
THE DOCTOR STRONGLY ADVISED AGAINST ME RUNNING! GAVE ME AN MC TOO!!!
I FEEL SO DAMN BAD..U NOE THE KINDA FEELING. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS RUN FOR LIKE AGES. NOW IS LIKE WTH.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST RUN AND DIE.

also, sorry to those who called at tt bad time. esp jeanette. i seriuosly can't give u advices on projs with the mood i'm in.
and ah boy. i feel so bad to "pang seh" u.

I M FEELING LIKE CRAP INSIDE ALREADY. AND YET WE QUARRELED.
HOW NICE.

IVE GOT MY PRIDE, U'VE GOT UR PRIDE AND HOT TEMPER.
I WONDER..MAYBE U DUN REALLY NEED ME IN UR LIFE.
LESSER A BURDEN FOR U TO WORRY, TO QUARREL , TO MAKE U ANGRY.

what a nice way of starting our 23rd month together.

shit. tears is blinding me.

CONFLICTS ARE DAMN SCREWED.

2006-08-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

today i was damn pissed.

received a call somewhere arnd late noon from sebas. was told that a particular issue involving someone was 'blown out of proportion', and the top mgmt was informed bout it. kay, that issue was supposed to be settle 'low profile' among the managers without the top knowing. but somehow, some 'itch-mouth' went to inform the op. mger.
so obviously, the op mger kick up a helluva fuss bout it. and the verdict is: to fire her, tt part-timer involved.

r u shock? i m.
maybe if u know bout the whole incident, u'll be too. cos seriously speaking, its not something that seriously deserves such a harsh verdict.

i've to say one thing though. no matter how big or small the case is, if the top doesn't likes u, or maybe dislikes u to a certain extent; there's really no reason for u to fight for justice. cos ultimately, u're fighting against all odds. if u think bout it seriously, there's really no reason for tt part-timer involved to stay on. true, it's a pity to see one with such good skills in a particular area leave the co. but think bout it, even if its just a small case, it will definitely be blown out of proportion as long as it involves tt particular someone.

the freaking thing tt pissed me off is that a particular IDIOT went to told the manager tt she/he overheard me telling al bout the whole incident who in turn went to inform the top bout it.
knowing tt al and the top does not like tt part-timer involved, its kinda looking for trouble when he/she leaked out the whole incident to al. that presents a very wonderful opportunity to get tt person involved into deep shit.
so anyway, tt night when tt particular 'cake' incident happened, not much people were ard. all were expected to keep mum bout it somehow, cos sebas had decided to put the whole incident under cover frm the top.
the next day i went to work, and al approached me saying tt he knows bout the whole incident!
wonderful! it happened the night before and the next morning he heard bout it.
so i was kinda wondering...it really says sometihng about her character when so many ppl are out to get her into shit.
as much as i dislike her sometimes, i'm not an itch mouth who goes arnd reporting incidents to others. anyway, it really does'nt matter how people thinks. if u think i did it , so be it. but the SHIT is I HATE PEOPLE SAYING THAT I DID SOMETHING WHEN I DID NOT.

WHICH PART OF UR F***ING EARS HAF U HEARD ME TELLING AL BOUT IT. I REPEAT, HE APPROACHED ME KNOWING BOUT IT. SO IF SOME PART OF UR EAR SYSTEM IS CHOKED UP WITH WATER, PLS HAF IT CLEAN BEFORE U OPEN UR BIG MOUTH ACCUSING SOMEONE OF THINGS SHE HAD NOT SAID.

BLOODY PISSED I AM.
if i know who u r, i wld love to give u ONE TIGHT SLAP.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

anyway the truth will always come to light huh. no matter how hard u try to cover up or hide something, the shits will all be dig up.
i've learnt that long long ago :)
if u do things the right way, admit it when u're wrong. bear the consequences, maybe things will not be so bad after all when all comes to light :D

one day, if i miss u like hell, i really should cab down to NTU :D
what a good suggestion. heh.

ASSURANCE.

2006-08-13T03:10:00.000+08:00

yea.

i wanna come into ur life the way u want me to.

but u've got to teach me, guide me, show me the way.

i'm so lost without u.

i need u, to learnt.

pls tell me how.

'WE' ARE ONE OF A KIND.
SO, SO DIFFERENT :)

WHY?

Late nite CHAT.

2006-08-11T04:09:00.000+08:00

IT WAS NICE TALKING TO TAN ZHONG CHUAN !

THANK U!

AND PLS KEEP MY SECRET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D

VERBAL WOUNDS.

2006-08-11T01:13:00.000+08:00

Verbal wounds.

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that the was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."
"A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us."

heh heh heh.
i love the story above! its kapok from daryn ng's blog. ay...fish..i got credit u okay :) by the way i miss the fishes family :D

there's this song running on his blog too..damn nice la.
why he got all the nice things huh???!!!!!!
BOOOO!!!

these are the meaningful parts of the lyrics :)

U'RE ALWAYS ON MY MIND
ALL DAYS, ALL THE TIME
U'RE EVRYTHING TO ME
U TOUCH ME IN MY DREAMS
WE KISS IN EVERY SCENE
I PRAY TO BE WITH U THRU RAINY & SHINY DAYS

I'LL LOVE U TILL I DIE
THE BEAUTY OF OUR LOVE PAINTS RAINBOWS EVRYWHERE WE GO
I NEED U ALL MY LIFE
U'RE MY HOPE, U'RE MY PRIDE

IN UR ARMS I FIND MY HEAVEN :D

CHAOTIC.

2006-08-10T00:36:00.000+08:00

life is so busy...

family dinners...meet-ups;
friends birthdayssssssssssss! meet-ups;
himmmmmm!!!!! kay, once per week :) ;
work at the cafe!!!!!!!!!!!!!;
school workkkkkkk, research!;
run.
swimming lessons coming up. hopefully :D

omg.
i need rest.

I MET U BOUT 4 YEARS AGO.
IT WAS KINDA SWEET AT TT TIME.
THEN U 'POOF!" OUTTA MY LIFE.
NOW U'RE BACK.
HOW GREAT.
yea.
sigh.
funny how u cld still recognize me :)

SHAKE UR BOM BOM.

2006-08-07T04:10:00.000+08:00

this post is gonna be sucha nonsensical one :)
at this wee hour..u can very much expect nonsense from this blog owner....
ahhhhh...lets seee.....
today something funny happened at work..
this young lady was damn suay la....
what happened was she opened that stupid bottle of ketchup...and *POOOOFHH* (eh whatever the description la ya...) ...the ketchup exploded in her face!!!!!!
ho ho ho ho... kay maybe not tt exaggerating...but she was wearing a white t-shirt!!!!!
then tt dumb dumb carmen still say..."wahhhh...her t-shirt pattern sooo nice!!"
FAINT. lol..but at least she smart enuff to keep her comments out of the cust's ear shot la :)

then got this funny indian man...came in to get an ice cube for his daughter..cos his daughter having some 'bah la ku' on her fore head. heh heh heh. so bad right.but very funny la...
cos like the 'ba la ku' like not a big deal like tt...no panic expression whatsoever. hee :X
then the funny guy came in the 2nd time order a cuppa hot tea..then he was like... HOW MUCH??? in tt funny indian accent. and i could'nt control myself in time..so i IMITATE HIM IN TT FUNNY ACCENT TO SEBASTIAN..HOW MUCH???? after tt i was like SHIT! he's right in front of me!!!!! then me and carmen was "amp chioing' all the way la...
super hilarious!!!
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

what else ehhh....there's this young lady who insisted on finishing up her friend's leftover peas and onions. MUAHAHAHHAAHAHHA. :D

tt's all for work i guess..kinda fun and enjoyable...working with carmen, yan, nino, and the cute face. love disturbing izhar!!! and irritating schenelle :)))))))))

hmmm.....as for school work...its starting to get a lil more hectic. starting to feel the pressure already...gotta get my ass up and about to do lotsa researching!

my mum is feeding me like a starved pig. i'm gonna turn into a fatt pig soon.
can i gain all the fats in my hands and arms only???
its starting to feel alil too disgustingly thin.

as for love....its wonderfully amazing.
i miss the boy so much..tmr is his first day at Ntu...hope all goes well for him :)

IN THE DARKEST HOUR...U'RE ALWAYS DERE...GOD....UNIVERSAL LOVE.

GROAN

2006-08-05T03:08:00.000+08:00

my head feels like its gonna explode!
I HATE HEADACHES :(

I CAN'T SLEEP TOO, SO BLARDY FULL :)

but my head...urgghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sleep or dun sleep????

BAH!

2006-07-31T23:51:00.000+08:00

boohoohoohoo.
the sleepy bugs are attacking ferociously in the day time..which is so wrong!
but they come in the night too =D
rest is more than adequately sufficient. for now.

wait till the projects' datelines draw nearer & nearer.....then u can hear me scream in absolute exhaustion, frustration and what nots!
hmmmm...i really really must pull my socks up high high.

the first step has been taken though, GREAT PLANNING has been done, or rather is still taking place! HOHOHOHO.

so many friends' birthdays are arnd the corner! and tt special day ^_^
hmmm...fiona's and q-jie bdays are arriving...
can't wait to celebrate national day with tt patriotic spirit too. heh heh heh.

i miss him so so so very the much! & i just wanna let the boy know tt i really appreciate him being by my side all these while..maybe not physically..but mentally. maybe in some ways u're not the perfect boyfriend i desire, but i want to let u know that it dun really matter to me. seriously.cos i accept u for who u are, and i dun wan u to change.
i love u for who u are.
i'm not perfect too, so please love me for who i am :))))))
i also understand that sometimes u need ur own space..to search for ur own identity..not tt u dun love me..but...its just u.
so believe tt i trust u, trust tt ur love will never falter.
and if u really really need me sometimes, come to me.
i cherish every moment spent with u cos moments like those are hard to come by..even if its easy to come by, i will not stop counting my blessings. heh.
but, if one day u really really drift out to far shore; and no matter how far i reach out for u, i could'nt reach u like before, please let me know.
only time can prove the existence of true love.
at least i have u for now! yayyyy!

jeezzz.....i'm a lil love sick.

all are forgiven..
i dun need to know the truth, i dun wanna know the truth.
only God & u know the truth.
i dun need to listen to explanations, nor need to read any explanations.
just trust tt i sincerely forgive u and accept u for who u are.
i understand tt humans are not perfect..so in some other ways..i might offend u too.
but we all know the importance of solving the underlying root of the problem.
i just ask u to be totally honest with urself and me.
if i provoke u to any extent, please dun hide it inside.
cos we're only all too human.

I LOVE CHEE CHEONG FAN.

2006-07-29T02:50:00.000+08:00

hee......my gooodddiiiieeee goooodddd goooodddd fren just sold his song to a very famous singer!!!!!!! I AM SO SO SO SOOOOOOO HAPPY FOR HIM CAN :))))

IT GOES...

最近

李圣杰

你最近不说话

怎麽了为什麽

是不是有什麽事让你不快乐

听说你最近很孤单

有点乱有点慌

可是我却不能够在你的身旁

Chorus 1:

你想要的

我却不能够给你我全部

我能给的

却又不是你想要拥有的

我们不适合也不想认输

好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭

你常解释这样的一切都只是开始

我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束

不想再约束

不要再痛苦

下一次会有更好的情路

Chorus 2:

爱我却不能给你我全部

我能给的

却又不是你想要拥有的

我们不适合也不想认输

U SAY U LOVE ME, BUT U CAN'T GIVE ME UR EVRYTHING :)

nice nice nice! go download from youtube and watch the MTV k! heeeeee.
or maybe i'm very bias cos the song is written by him!
heh. but whatever la..go judge for urself ^-^

hmmm....bout today...work is kinda surprisingly fun. maybe its the people :)
tmr will be funnnerrrr! haha. more fun. with izhar, yan, amelia!!!! wheeeeeeeeeee.
and why do i feel like certain things at work are starting (maybe a lil) to change for the better?
has someone finally begin to take note of certain stuffs happening arnd the work place??
better not judge too fast..gotta take things real slow.........

dk says:" to unlock a chain u need to find the person that chain u up, remember to find the right person if u wan the right ans>"

its true. but somethings are easier said than done. sigh.
we are all masters of avoidance.

LESSONS LEARNT

2006-07-28T01:11:00.000+08:00

heeheeheee...friends who just check out my blog might wonder what's the whole commotion about at my tagboard. heh.
well, SOMEONE had tagged: saying that my English sucks, poorly phrased, spelling wrong, grammar all over the place, and the most funny part ..saying that my writings are probably copied out of nowhere????!!!

i have to agree though, that my ENGLISH aint fantastic..and spelling, grammar is not perfect. but this self-righteous prude failed to understand that i never once said that my english is so professional and all. the most ironic thing is that, though she thinks i write badly, she's a regular visitor of my blog =D soooo amusing yea!
and writings copied out of somewhere? most of my posts are bout my own emotions, the way i feel..so there's a twin out there whom i can copy her posts??? VERY LAUGHABLE (IS THIS THE WAY U SPELL IT? DO A SPELLING CHECK FOR ME THEN, I REALLY CANNOT BE BOTHERED ). or maybe....*GASPS!..u think i'm copying ur stuffs???? oh man. pretty much self-centered then.

she (yes it is a SHE) is so concerned with the use of Good English Language that she underestimated the use of technology..and also the owner of this blog :)

within momentS, her network user, os server and ip address, and of course her NAME is revealed.

u know, if i really want to seekkkkkk to impress people on how good my english is, i would sent all my blog posts to microsoft word for spelling and grammar check. HAHAHA. SOUNDS FUNNY RIGHT. maybe she does that to her own blog...hee..or the need to impress people with her so called good writing skills is soooo strong. its kinda sad right..i wonder how long she takes to write a blog entry.. cos she have to constantly worry on how she portray herself to others.

tsktsktsk.

anyway, i really should not be mean. like what my mum, darling and some friends advised, forgive and forget!

maybe. if only u come up to me with an apology and an explanation. its takes lots of courage to do that, but IF u do SO, i would gladly forgive u for the mean things tt u wriiten. cos once, u brougt so much fun and laughter into my life. i trusted u, i treat so much like a good friend. do u know how disappointing and devastated i felt when i learnt it was u? i seriously wonder how u can continue smiling to my face when u have done such things behind my back. dun u know tt "u can't get away with murder?" :) the truth is really so UNEXPECTED. if i could turn back time, i would not have chosen to know who it was, just so that things will remain the same between us. dun u know how much i treasured u?

every actions have its consequences.

my mum said: "WE REALLY CANNOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER" :)
u know despite what others are commeting..i still wanna trust u once again, believe that u have a very good reason for doing so.

make me believe u again.
i miss the way we used to be.

i learnt one thing:
SIMPLE WORDS CAN CONVEY GREAT THOUGHTS. SO I WILL STILL STICK WITH MY BADDDD ENGLISH, NO NEED FOR SOME PROFESSIONAL JARGON WHERE PEOPLE MIGHT NOT UNDERSTAND. AND NO NEED TO CONSTANTLY CHECK ON MY SPELLING, GRAMMAR COS I REALLY DUN GIVE A DAMN. IF U'RE NOT HAPPY READING MY STUFFS, CLICK THAT LIL X AT THE TOP RIGHT HAND CORNOR!

MUACK TO EVERYONE, ESP LORRAINE WHO'S GOING THRU SUCHA ROUGH PATCH :)))))

SUNSHINE.

2006-07-25T01:52:00.000+08:00

To You,
Dear, yes kind of joke that mi having a blog, that wat i think also but i guess that the best way to express myself, LAZY to update! just hope i can update regularly.remember that msg you send mi? dont wish to disturb my life, scare of irritate mi when i'm busy...Your life and my life, why can't it be simple to be OUR life?i just hope you can irritate mi more, yes i truly hope so. Every time you phone mi, i feel so happy hearing your voice, kinda bright up my day. of cos there time that i will be busy and tell you i can't tok but that familiar voice i hear is enough!
getting into my life guess it pretty hard... Same as mi getting into your...i would say my life suck it bored! 6 day a week at the POOL and endless training for my upcoming event, sometime i just hope you can join mi for training, so we can have lot of time together better then i always telling you that i tired and sleepin soon when you are so awake after work... haiZi know that you are understandin, undertandin also got it limitation, guess i do know that now. i'm so afraid to promise you with anything especially when my sch is starting. guess it will be more pack and busy. pls bear with mi thank...Guess it too long liao...
Just want you to know that i love U! Yes sincerely love U!

i just had to copy the above that he wrote in his blog and paste it here..for fear that i might lose these words that i hold so dear to my heart.
way back in the past, he told me that he should start a blog, so that i can read his inner thoughts..know what he's thinking..understand him better.
at that point of time, i thought that it would never happen..cos a busyyyyy guy like him..how could he possibly find time to blog...and he might be sooo lazy to want to update often. heh.
but hmmmm...he recently started a blog in friendster! AND I WAS LIKE SO AMAZED AND SHOCKED!
cos knowing him, who seldom express his feelings..it's kinda hard blogging his feelings i suppose. or maybe i fail to understand him...often resulting in me misunderstanding him, even though he might feel that he's already being very direct.
but i always want to know what he's really thinking deep down inside. i can't seem to thoroughly understand him . i felt taken for granted sometimes.
thinking back, i feel like such a failure..as a girlfriend..i realise that i've always expect him to call or sms..always wanting him to initiates meet-ups..and when he dun do such things, i feel like he dun give a damn..and i get quite upset bout it.
simple meassges and calls from him do bright up my day...and i realise that i've deny him such simple pleasures throughout almost two years of our relationship.
since he take the first step to outwardly express himself, i realise that i should do so too...cos ultimately, it takes 2 hands to clap in a relationship. i promise to not hide unhappiness, to let him in to tt emotional side of me, most importantly to IRRITATE HIM =D
previously i was so afraid that i might intrude into his busy busy life, or simply irritate him..but now i realise that i've been so silly, cos that's what he actually wants..maybe to know that i do care for and miss him.
so darling boy if u complain tt i'm irritating, i'm so gonna retreat back into my shell! HEH HEH HEH.
anyway thanks for not giving up on our relationship despite some unhappiness, arguements and our indifference. i'll never give up on us!

and the part on understanding has its limitations...perhaps its true. but i wun so easily give up on u..cos love brings with it understanding!

we are still trying to make this relationship work better and better and better! and i''m so glad u took the first step.
hopefully u wld update occasionally so that i can feel u :))))

many more years together!
lovelove.

i finally get my answer..after almost 2 long years ^_^

OKAY THIS IS WHERE I STOPPED COS FREAKING BLOGGER SO SCREWED UP.
LOST MOST OF MY TEXT.
AND I DUN WANNA TYPE IT ALL OUT AGAIN :(

THE WORKPLACE.

2006-07-24T02:31:00.000+08:00

dun u think that the victim deserves to know who accuse him/her.
well, some think otherwise.
ok, there's always two sides of the story..cos some might fear that it might create conflicts between the victim and the ones accusing.
but dun u think that we should all be EXPECTED to act in a mature way, and not in a chlidish manner? especially taking into consideration our age :)
if u commented on someone, why do u fear letting that person noe what u said? for fear that it might be a personal attack? Lol. okay maybe i'm thinking too much. but seriously speaking...if i made a comment, i would gladly let that person know..cos i believe i made a constructive feedback and sincerely wants the person to change for the better. why hide behind a smiley plastic face. tsktsktsk....the workplace's definitely not a nice place to work in with such*plastic* people.

well...working nowadays...kinda lots of feedback..not saying its bad..cos its definitely something to reflect on..and if i feel that certain things are justifiable enough to motivate me to change, i would gladly do so *_*
but sometimes it seems like there are so many expectations.. "the talk"s from certain subordinates..its feels like expectations are piled high..always yearning for lotsa changes...always wanting us to change change change..always thinking that we are still"not there yet".
it kinda feels like WHAT THE HELL at certain times..cos most (cept 1 subordinate)shows NO APPRECIATION. yes, shows no appreciation..the BAD always surfaces..the GOOD becomes expected of u! and so if one day we kinda deviates from the good..we get picked on..grumbles starts.. mind u, sometimes we're only HUMAN.
and we can't really please the whole world..'cept if u're super ultra fakeyyy nice...bootlicking now and then...saying "yes, yes, yes' ..to everything expected of you..then maybe u can please everyone.. bottom line is" not to have a mind of ur own, but to conform to authority..to rules..to stringent practices..even when sometimes we're not happy"
so basically, work should be" just put a big smile on ur face and say "YES " fullstop. to everything ur subordinates tell u to do.
how harmonious the workplace would be like huh.

i'm not perfect and everyone's not too. like for the managers...they expect so much from us...but do they reflect upon themselves seriously.. is FAIR AND EQUITABLE PRACTICES practise in the workplace? sorry, i feel its not in certain areas. some managers are disliked for no apparent reasons perhaps..some for being BIAS..some for being naggggyyyyyy. some for being tooo strict.... it made the workplace such a unflexible place to work in. UNFLEXIBLE is deemed as failure...it makes people all the more wants to go against authority (maybe not express outwardly, but inwardly)..it makes people dun wanna work hard on a particular shift..disrespect u in some ways. its so much crap crap crap...if u can get everyone, yes i mean EVERYONE to like and respect u, then maybe u can expect that of us.

u want us to learn, to change, fine. TEACH US. not using words..actions perhaps.
u dun see the hard work we put in? we too. we dun SEE U doing ur part.
show us, and we will gladly learn from u.
if not, please get off our back. we work hard,u get ur sales target..we smile, u get ur improvement in service...ahhh...but i think all these are EXPECTED and not appreciated :)
so we have to constantly strive and strive.
but sometimes we're tired.
we are just freaking part-timers for goodness sake, WITH A LIFE OUT THERE.

also, there's this major source of conflict..always asking "ehh dun u think that xxx is very slow...??? or watever..but certainly all negatives comments????? lol. i think she's the major source of grapevine. i wonder..conversations with her friends she hang out with..might always be bout others...bad stuffs..and she dun really talk bout other stuffs.
actually, kinda sad being her.

CRAP ASIDE, i really should not be bothered by all these.

nowadays when we go to wrk, we always pray for sebastian shift. right limhongyan??? hhahaahah.
i had lotsa arguements with sebastian in the past, but we're always okay after that..cos maybe we feel that he's the only one who really appreciates the staffs. and he understands my character..my way of doing my job.

spoke to darling boy just now bout work related issues...and i get real good advices..kinda know what to do...moments ago was kinda lost..but after talking to him..it was like..ahhhhh..i finally am getting something. i know what i must do. thank God for him..my pillar of strength and support =D

actually i'm kinda glad for certain feedbacks, cos i believes feedbacks make me learn. make me wanna change to prove others wrong. even if i change is not because i wanna gain acceptance and approval from some people, but to make work a lil more easier.
so yes, i wun be sooo direct in future, be TACTFUL like what darling suggested :)))))

tmr is inter- nydc girls captain ball..we must soo winn la!!!!!! and trash heeren badly.
good nite peeps!

BIG FAT ONIONS.

2006-07-21T01:47:00.000+08:00

my hands so stink of onions!!!!!!
YIKES!!!!!!!!!
& working today was kinda horrible..

some people just think too highly of themselves that they fail to do things sensibly.
too caught up in their own world i would say.
kinda none of my concern actually..so why care so much :)

anyway..shoooo away with work stuffs...darling boy just underwent a surgery...a dental surgery..imagine ur gums being cut...ergggggh. PAIN !!! :'(

and i met up with Ms chow Munting yesterday ..like finally. heh. we went dining at Nydc Heeren. saw Mr Nicholas Burp King too...HE LOST WEIGHT!!! dinner was great ..with her especially...and the talking session...not forgetting the silly toy her boyfriend asked her to buy for him. *ROTFL* :D ..before that went ice-skating with the SIM clique..'cept Pala..fly aeroplane!! heh. but it was shoooo much fun. certaintly more fun if Ms Pala was arnd =)

& just to let Limhongyan know tt i do appreciate her going all the way to yoshinoya to get that Salmon rice bowl for me. hugggggssss!

& we are so so so so much better..... :)))))))
-ilu.

do u feel ME?

2006-07-20T01:59:00.000+08:00

i've just pierced my ears!
heh heh heh. many of my girl friends pierced their ears when they were soooo young....
and ME! i pierced my ears at age 21! how embarrasing :)
okay the whole procedures started out as rather stupid...was searching for clinics at tp ..cos clinics are much more hygienic as recommended by mum. so anyway, the 1st clinic that i went to...they said that the piercing gun is not available at the moment. so i was rather cool bout it..but!!!!! the second clinic (My family doctor since i was young) said that the piercing gun was misplaced!!! cos they just renovated..
that finally set me thinking..maybe its not fated for me to have EAR HOLES!! hohohoho.
and then, the third clinic!!!! freaking lousy attitude from that frontline staff..after waiting kinda long..then she informed me tt they dun do ear piercing!
i was like so SIANED LA..and kinda feel bad bout making my dad & mum walk around for so long searching for an available clinic!
(yes, i m a daddy and mommy girl...lol..ear piercing also must parents accompany....heh... but they volunteered okay :D)
SO GUESS WHAT..my mom said: AIYO U GO TO THE JEWELLERY SHOP LA...THE MOST INFECTION ALSO WUN DIE WAN!!
HAHAHAHA.. THINK SHE DAMN PEK CHEK.
so i went to the jewellery shop....and they pierce a nice niceeee bling bling pair of ear ring through my ears! i like i like i like.!!
the pain is not really those kinda unbearable pain...its a kind of uncomfortable pain that lingers arnd for some time..
so yea! ear piercing is done! yipppiiiiiee!

Man

Man... Or will these male species ever turn into one?
Or they will always stay as boys?
Their ego never stop growing though. It gets bigger every second of their damn lives.
Never wanting to admit their mistakes.
Never wanting to show their true emotions.
Running away from reality.
Always pointing their miserable finger to others.
They come only when they're in need.. In need of companion.
In need of someone to fill their mundane lives.
But when they are needed, they run...

was blog hopping and i came across the above that a colleague wrote in her blog...

how strikingly true it sounds....

situational dilemma.

2006-07-17T00:54:00.000+08:00

i m like so stuck in a dilemma right now.
to go to the STATES to study, or not to.
its a freaking long period of 6 months. (to me at least)
sensibly speaking, the pros far outweigh the cons..its a wonderful opportunity to see the world out there, experience independent living, get to meet new friends from diverse cultures, and of cos the most exciting part of a new chapter in life..far far away from loved ones.

i'm like a bird stuck in a cage, yearning to spread my wings widely and fly out to see the world..and maybe to greener pastures. yet, another part of me worry about survival..worry about the large sadness that might overcome me when i take the first step to fly. Leaving the close comfort of my cage..leaving familiar surroundings, and loved ones behind.

a part of me yearns to go badly, yet another part of me is pulling me back. a huge wave of sadness hits me straight on when i think about not being able to see my family, him and friends for so long. 6 months...like what a friend said..6 months is kinda long..and u never know what might happen. will things change drastically?? will emotional gaps appear?

the thought of going out there into a whole new surrounding to learn, change and adapt is indeed very exciting..but i fear that i will bring with me gloomy dark clouds of *MISSES & LONGINGS*.

i've just asked HIM bout his opinion, and being the typical sensible and understanding guy he is, i kinda already figure out the answer he would give me. and he asked me this question in return: "what if i am the one leaving, would u stop me?" OF COURSE I REPLY WITH AN INDIGNANT NO!. for that moment, i knew i've gotten my answer.
still, a large part of me wants him to stop me from going.. to let me know how much it might saddens him.

but like what he says..ultimately the choice is still mine. i m the one deciding after all.

seriously speaking, maybe i've already made up my mind to go.

okay, enough of gloomyglommythoughts...here are some nicenice niceeeee picts from the kl trip to brighten up my mood :)

at the train station to kl.
he looked hyper worn out and sun-burned.
all thanks to OSIM TRIATHLON :))))

we are sooooo bored, so we played UNO!

can u believe it, we lost our way.

finally, here comes the train..

see all our exiceted heads popping out!

his smelly smelly shoes!

and its dawn....lets take a look at HIM......

EARLY MORNING big bigggg smiley face for me! felt like kissing him! muahahhahahah.

ade and i. we just felt like some cam whoring :)

and again!

and us! lovely :D

and this is HIM!

and the sky is clear & beautiful! yippee!

i took this in our bathroom! hohohoho.

the pool view from our bedroom. its gorgeous!

the guys!

the girls!

lets act funny!

this cafe is damn cool.

we are BORED.

DAMN BORED ACTUALLY.

we are cowards on this high high long long suspension bridge with holes in its pavement.

the pinkypinky shop tt MUNTING WLD loves!!

yea..kl zouk.finally.. but its BLOODY CLOSED! how fun.

actually we are not cowards. we love the bridge!

and darling boy seems a lil too overtly excited :D

TWIN TOWER AT NIGHT!
AMAZING IS THE WORD.

and our SILHOUETTE.
we belong together :))))))

at malaysia's airport. look how upset i was on leaving!

and this picture pretty much summarises the entire trip.

we've taken a helluva loads of pictures....but its madness if i post every picts up la....heh heh heh.

so anyway to end off this post...my most favourite picture!!!!!!

hee

heee...

heeeeee.......

TADA!

its time to bloggggggggggggg.

2006-07-13T23:13:00.000+08:00

DEAR DIARY.. U'VE GOT A LAZZZYYYY BLOG OWNER!
hohohohoho... its time to stop procrastinating and get back to blogging :)

anyway back from kl not long..school had reopened..and its a tad difficult adjusting back to school life once again. brain a lil rusty..and kinda lazy to use my brain...hahahaha. okayyy maybe i need a lil more time dwelling in my lazy lazy world...and then when i finally decides to use my brain, am afraid the assignments will all start pouring in.

hmmm...bout the kl trip...can say a very good learning experience for me..understand many issues, get to know certain kind of people better, get to understand him better. most importantly realised that SOMEONE is able to take very good care of me when i fall sick. hmmm...maybe like what hy said..if i dint fall sick, perhaps i will have loads to complain...but ....kinda glad i fall sick...cos then i understand something better. also, i learnt that many things are not what they seems..and i often blame someone close to my heart for certain stuffs..failing to understand that he actually meant well. of course there are things that i'm definitely not happy bout on the trip..but i choose to let it rest..keep it right deep in my heart. maybe only some understand what i'm refering too...but anyway like what i said earlier on...indeed a very good learning experience...and loads of fun and suayness too.
fun at sunway lagoon..all those thrilling rides..
suay cos the 1st day my 'best friend' came to visit me..and second day down with flu and fever...how great. but the fever part..kinda a blessing in disguise :) guess i'll never forget tt scene. And funny stuffs too...dear talking so openly about PADS! hahahaha.. he said something like why need to be so shy bout the PADS word?!! HAHAHAHAHA. *FAINT.

its also the first time i went on a holiday and did NOT do much shopping!!!! maybe cos i was sick..so not really in the mood to shop...so for those whom i bought stuffs for, be very happy okay! hA. cos i dint do much shopping! guess i spent the most on chocolates..spent bout hundred plus at COCOA TREE at S'pore airport. its not duty free..so kinda ex..& the sales girl overcharge an item too! but most importantly hope those who get to eat the chocolates and sweets are very very happy! hee.
AND its the first time i sat on an AEROPLANE! actually not very exciting...hahahaha. but first time..so kind of a memorable experience..but crap la..we all got separate seats..so far away from one another :( and kinda embarrassed..cos tt stranger helped me to unbuckle my seat belt. hahahha. yeayea...i'm dumb. LOL.

and the pictures for the KL trip...dear burned it in a CD...cos if he sent over the internet..its like gonna take forever...so waiting for that CD! nice nice pictures okay :))))))) *kapok like few pictures from brendon friendster..hee..gonna post one pict up lata.

gosh, how time flies...yaddayadda. its my final year at SIM. .& i wanna have my last sem over at Australia...so gotta hurry apply!!! PALA LETS GO!!!!!! :)

what a long longgggg entry...so some people please dun complain say i seldom blog.. HAHAHAAHAHAH.

I WANNA WATCH PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN!!!!!! ANYONE ????? :D

FROM LEFT: garvin (nice nice guy!), me( sweet sweet! hahahah.), darling (adorable! :D), brendon (quiet but fun guy!), n KIM( my fav shopping partner!) , adelene missing! (she's the photographer.
the view behind us is SUNWAY LAGOON!

WILL POST MORE PICTS ONCE I GET HOLD OF THEM!

anticipation.

2006-07-01T02:46:00.000+08:00

bout a day more to departure to KL!
be taking the night train on sunday...hohohoho...can't wait :)
been to kl like 2 or 3 times i think. not much things to see..the same old boring places.
but, its much more better than in boring boring boring SINGAPORE.
and i get to see him for three whole days straight, 24/7 arnd the clock :D
not much shopping to do too...as my wardrobe is damn full. gotta stop buying clothes. and i dun think i need anything else right now. so.....i'll be shopping for my mum! she DEMANDSSSSS so many things. heh.
hmmm...packing for the trip is a headache..like three days no big deal. but once i open my big big wardrobe, i can't decide which clothes to bring can! heh heh heh.

i should take the chance to settle certain issues with him on the trip. but, i'm afraid that i would ultimately prefer to be indifferent, to let things remains the way they are. sometimes i yearn for so much changes..yet i dunn know how and where to start. & maybe a lil 'chixken'..afraid of what changes might bring about. one moment i can be drastically upset over the way certain stuffs are, but another moment, i can accept the way things are in an amicable manner..and give lotsa excuses to cover up certain thoughts & actions.
i am fighting an internal war. i need to break loose, fight for the things i want ..and not settle for second best. but its hard its hard, its HARD! no matter how hard, i must do it..for fear that sorrow and tears would always be arnd the corner.

enough bout those emo stuffs, if i recalled correctly, Ms Lim ALWAYS says that my blog sounds sad.. :) maybe its because when u're sad and unhappy, u'll aways vent ur frustrations at an outlet. i choose my blog as my outlet :(
of course the happy moments are blogged down too...but the sad always seems to triump over the happy ones. maybe the sad affects me more than the happy ones. the sad are always bout him too.
without him in my life, perhaps there might not be anymore sad moments, but then again the happy ones are gone too. so maybe i should live with it...for through the sad moments...i come to better appreciate the happy ones!

tell me, are u not the right one after all??

i yearn for a lil more affection.

scream it out.

2006-06-25T02:50:00.000+08:00

sigh.
i've got so much things running thru my mind.
today's chalet was............... WASN'T FUN, DEFINITELY!
why am i expected to socialise with all ur friends?
why am i expected so feel so in place when i join ur group of friends?
dun u even consider that i might feel awkward and wordless?
why am i expected to have fun mingling with all ur friends?
have u ever thought that they are ultimately, your friends, and not mine?
so why am i expected to go around making small talks?
it feels like such a burden.
so i rather be on my own, no obligations to put on an act.

u can go around socialising with all your friends, not worry bout neglecting me.
but i wish u could be more sensitive, show some concern occasionally.
but i seen none of that.
so it was rather disappointing and heartbreaking.

and then comes along a little girl. she's just a lil kid, but i'd more fun with her than anyone else. i love kids, or maybe u dunno me well enough to know that?? *smirk* so after all that fun with her, i was told that it was kinda eh wrong???? that i should interact with the rest of your friends instead. that it seems like i was lonely and so choose her to play arnd with??
that's like totally crap to me, and it pissed me off. still, i dun wish to quarrel with u and spoilt ur mood.

the feelings i had about u today was kinda weird.
hope it wun happen the second time.

cos i'm starting to doubt.....
to doubt something real bad........

Grey matter of Thoughts,

2006-06-20T01:04:00.000+08:00

do guys on the street soliciting the public for donations grab the hands of an innocent looking girl and ask her to be his girlfriend? a DEFINITE NO right! what a weird encounter. like totally freaked me out! WTH! can i sue the guy??????!! psssttt...the innocent part sounds weird! hahahaha.

anyway guess who dined at nydc today????? its KELLY POON. PAN JIA LI! hohohohoho. relaz, i'm not crazy bout her. too bad LIMHONGYAN NOT AROUND! hohohohoho. her looks fall below my expectations though.. magazines....TV....ahhhh...they make u look soooooo goooood. but in fact....HEEEEEE :)

i'm having a stupid migraine. been around for like three days???? GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY.

by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DADDY DEAREST! tomoro we will eat our hearts out :D

u r a dangerous kind of love.
NO, not love. LIKE i think!
a dangerous kind of Like.
u need to so freaking maintain ur distance away from me.
a dangerous kind of attraction.
unforgivable, un-imaginable.
remain calm....BREATHE....

i'm playing with fire.

my stomach's bloated :(

2006-06-18T04:47:00.000+08:00

omg. omg. omg! i can't sleep!! i'm so FULL!!!!
finished work at 11 just now..& piggy came down to fetch me to suntec to watch tt CAR SHOW???!!! with his bigggg group of friends. The show is fantastically cute la :) & very meaningful too in a way. so after tt we headed down to jalan kayu to have prata!
lotsa FUNNY things happen la...the milk order..HAHAHHA..AND DUNNO the coffee and tea. heh. i think i'm turning into blur sotong. and i was forced to eat prata (S)!!!!! feel so full now la...unhealthy supper :( how to sleep, how to sleep, how to sleep u tell me!!!!!!

sch's reopening so soon tooo...like so sianed la. holidays pass sooooooo fast! looking forward to tt chalet. and also just heard bout tt KL trip with piggy and his friends!! hopefully can go!!! hee.hee.hee. just check my timetable..and if i go for tt trip, i'll just miss one lesson, hohohoho.

that limhongyan should be having fun in genting now la.......heh heh heh. misssss her lots!

tomoro is father's day :)
my dad is my HERO! :D

i should really really learn how to appreciate u better,
instead of always expecting more & more& more from u ..
when we set our expectations lower, we'll be much happier right?? :)

Late night entry.

2006-06-13T00:25:00.001+08:00

i think i must be quite mad to get up at this hour.
the night seems endlessly long today.
try as i might, i could'nt get back to sleep.
and since its been quite awhile since i blogged, here i am :)

these days, or rather these weeks were occupied by work at ny; and of course meeting up with some friends in between. Much quality time was also spent with my family. The only grief was not seeing Him for kinda long (bout a week i think). Well, both were busy, really busy :D
Me, mostly with work at ny. and him, with his work, training for the upcoming triathlon and teaching the kids swimming.

recently i've been having some really strange feeling and euphoric ones too.
i can't really comprehend those feelings and needless to say its much harder blogging those feelings down.

everyone of us do change overtime, and i fear i'm slowly changing too. changing in the way i think and act in a certain way. its scary how time can mould us into someone whom we might cease to understand oneself. we slowly grow in our own unique ways in this long long journey called life. people grow old, and people die. slowly one day, our loved ones will leave us; and i believe that's then when we truely understand what is pain. Pain forces us to be strong survivors, to held our head ever so high even when the journey is tough. Especially when love hurts us so, we slowly built up a wall each day in the depth of our heart. This prevents us from getting hurt once again and to really let others in to see our vulnerability.

i guess i know what i really want to change about oneself as time slowly ticks away. all my life till now, i take feeling and emotions really strongly, or rather; i m what u call- an emotional person. relationships are especially important to me, be it friendship or love relationship. seriously speaking there are only few whom i can really call my friend. Those who are there for me most of the time, those who makes me want to be there for them always, and those who accept me for who i am despite all the negative sides of me. i cry for the things i really care about. when i get really angry, i cry; but only when i care so much for tt particular thing or person.
I want to change all these. i dun want to let others see tears so easily when i'm angry. i dun want to let others know how fragile i can be at times. i dun want to rely so easily on my loved ones. i want to stand strong on my two feet, look fear in the eyes, and never waver. Proud to say, not many have seen tears from me. I know i've been quite strong already. but i want to be stronger and never let ramdom feeling affect me so much. It's hard but it's a goal tt i'll slowly reach to achieve, step by step. No matter how long it takes, or how tough the journey is, i know i will never give up. i must not falter.

sigh. late night entrys are always so emo. lets talk bout work then!
started working in the 'hotside' kitchen bout a week ago. Kinda fun i guess. not as hot as i imagined it to be. time pass real fast too. but most importantly get to really understand some people better. The saying: 'never judge its book by its cover' rings so truely. I always thought that he was a true blue ah beng. but instead he shocked me greatly. i see sincerity, truefull-ness, willingingness to work hard in him. he was the one who taught me so much things. he was the one who patiently explain things thoroughly and never seems to give up on me. i just want to say a big THANK u. and also, sorry for judging u wrongly in the past. as for another, it was disappointing. well well, i will give my best shot. SOMEONE sacarstically asked how i fared to another. so to tell u the truth, or rather her, the more u think i can't succeed, the more i'll prove u wrong. This has been my motto my whole life i think :) i love proving others wrong :D

still, i wanna thank God. for making my journey of life as smooth as it could be, for sending many angels (friends) to help me and be there in times of needs and distress. to send HIM to love me and bless me with a very encouraging family, to extend my dad's life span, and most importantly, to make my burden feels so much more lighter. God is my only pillar of strenght. even when i dun serve him in church, he never fails to be there.

as for Mr. Cheng, he had leave for a diving trip once again. surprisingly i totally forgotten bout it till he reminded me the night before he leaves. i somehow understand what's it like to be busy and occupied and thus ignored someone dearest to heart. its not that i love him any lesser, but other stuffs just occupied most my time that i dun even have the energy to make an effort to meet up and stuffs. it's been so long too that i felt so much missed from someone. The feeling is so so so GOOD :)

i'm chatting with the other two piggy friends (jiao and daryn) a while back, time to update my post and call them back! but....why does sleep hovers arnd.......yawnnnnnn.....

i miss u :)

2006-06-13T00:25:00.000+08:00

rightfully wronged.

2006-06-05T00:09:00.000+08:00

so i was WRONG to worry bout u huh.
WRONG to worry bout ur safety.
WRONG to interfere.
WRONG to care bout u.

so that QUESTION asked out of concern was ridiculous huh.
and it seems like i was nagging?
if u think bout it carefully, it was just one simple question that slipped out cos i was worried.
i guess it dint really occured to u.

i never should care.

now i dun even know what and what not to ask.

THANKS.

at this time, u make me wonder have i loved the WRONG guy.

A special day.

2006-06-02T02:04:00.000+08:00

today was a very enjoyable day :)
it is YOUR birthday!
and though it was a simple celebration, it was more than enough for me.
and when i asked u: "did u enjoy urself today?", ur answer is the best answer i ever heard.
thanks for bringing so much joy to my life,
thanks for adding rainbows into my life,
thanks for letting me be a part of your happiness,
u mean the world to me.

thanks for finishing up the whole half kg cake to please me,
thanks for treasuring the simple things i give u,
thanks for combing my hair :D
thanks for the hug,
and the comfort on your lap.

the time spent by the beach is the best part of the night.
i hope u cherish the time spent, cos i do.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. CHENG.

A birthday wish.

2006-06-01T04:32:00.000+08:00

生日快乐！

我爱你，爱死你了：）

its been long.

2006-05-28T02:10:00.000+08:00

booohoooo! been so long since i post!

back from camp on wednesday..and was so freaking tired la. TIRED as in REALLY TIRED. the kind where everything else around u don't bother u at all. Guess its been long since i did camps. but it was great..'cept for the tiring part. AMUSING RACE (amazing) was like hell la...the kids have absolutely no sense of direction..and so i think i toured the whole sentosa....hahahhaha. okay maybe not so exaggerating...but....... :X

this time round the yuhua kids are not too bad i guess...but the group that i took...oh man....first day can really die talking to them. especially the guys! rebellious little ones! but lucky i have them right there under my control....heh heh heh. and the guys and girls...absolutely like come from two different world la...guys hate girls... muahahhaha. imagine the guys going: "why always girls girls girls...they so great meh!" LOL. and also one guy call the other girl "chao ah neh!!!!" oh man...havoc la....then all the cheers they think are lame. LOL. but neverthelesss....i did my best and they did their best too. 2nd day seen a great surge of improvement :)

oh ya we had prata as supper.. reward us for our effort i think....heeeheeeheeee....thanks to JASON!! yumyumyum. and i tell u la,...the food at sentosa camp compared to other places is damn good man...got like fish & chips, chix chop...fried beehoon...mango pudding etc...MUAHAHAHAH.

i met ROGER too. & i really like him too :))))) nice nice nice guy. too bad he's attached..BWAHAHAHAHHA. kidding kidding. heh. but like what i say, he's really really nice la..and he seems really sensitive, able to understand what i'm thinking. sometimes really freaky @ times when he seems to understand what i'm thinking inside. kinda spooky. but of course i never let him know that. and we really have fun with our kids..heeeeee.... and the campfire night esp..like totally havoc la. :)))) it's fun fun fun with him arnd! oh ya, he's my co-partner instructor for camp fire prep. hopefully next time get to do camps with him again :D

other than doing camps, its work work work at the wheelock cafe.....and of course meeting up with some wonderful frens!

PROMISES....why can they be broken so easily???? honestly speaking i m disappointed in u. though i know maybe its not ur fault and circumstances do happen..but stilll......
i think i really do learn lots of things as time goes by.
& i can't seem to give u any surprise...everything is u plan..........
maybe i should just sit back and be laid back bout us.

i think the best candidate to watch DA VINCI CODE with is ah hao :)

i guess not much left to say..just that tomoro i be cutting my lonngggg lonnnng hair! good night!

Panic-mood.

2006-05-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

in bout 6 hours time, i need to be up and awake!
yet i haven pack my bag for camp! haven go thru the program lists, haven settle so many stuffs la....i m so screwed.
be at sentosa for 3 days 2 nights, so dun miss me! muahahahhaa.
anyway be back on wednesday arnd noon, and the sim gang will go for steamboat alright! & of course celebrating minh birthday too! WHAT SHALL WE GET FOR HIM????

i'm left with like barely 6 hours of sleep after settling all my stuffs, and tmr will be a long longgggg day... actually did manage to catch some sleep just now....SOME ONLY...was woken up by Mr. goh tailiang. surprise surprise call...and we chatted for like 1 hour! so amazeD can..dun even feel that time had past so damn fast la. as for Mr. goh...wish him good luck in COMMANDO unit..after hearing all those terrible stories from him. Lol.

and my internet researches to find places to celebrate Dear's birthday is all so redundant la.
Mr. Cheng dun want me to spent UNNECCESARY MONEY! guess what he suggests????
HE WANTS ME TO COOK FOR HIM !!! imsodead. i can't cook! i dun even know how to cook vegetarian dishes! like so seriously need to go buy recipes!!!!

okayokayokay....i need to log off...someone is scolding me :X

Deep down inside.

2006-05-17T00:10:00.000+08:00

today was an extraordinary day.
it was the first time i went to visit a deceased friend of mine.
i miss him so much. when i stood in front of him, i had so much things to say to him.
but i know his soul is no longer here in this world, nor where he's cremated. i believe he is somewhere up there, for he is one with a kind heart. i know that i do not have to go to that place to see him or to feel his presence; for he is deep down inside my heart. All i have to do is to reach out to the very inner core of my spirit, and he is there. i wished him happy birthday. i thank him for his brother; a friend indeed i've found in him. his mum still cries daily. i can feel the pain, the sorrow, the anguish. its all so real. tears were suppressed thrice; i was surprised at myself...to know that tears still lingers.

this world is so unpredictable.
sometimes i feel so suffocated.

today was enjoyable. thanls little one :)

2005/12/18. the day since u were gone.. how time flies..

as for u..u're heartbreakingly disappointing...

shack.

2006-05-14T03:01:00.000+08:00

after one long month of exams & the rushing of a project, i finally declare myself free.
free from stress! free from worries! free from sleepless nights!

so much to update since the end of my last paper! as for THE project, it officially ended today!
presentation was good, good, good :) 4 girls & 2 guys: jee was great, yan was cool, minh was cute, cj was admirably calm and collected, jean was not-her-softspoken self, as for me - i was aggressive & fierce (as commented by jee n yan)!!!!! muahahhaa. the script went well, the presentation was ...ehh. a success??? heh.

but we forgot to take pictures together! :(

back to long-hours work at the cafe, as well as doing camps & catching up with friends!
most of the time, u can find me at the cafe. 6 days next week, with two full shifts. as for the week after that, 3 days at camp.
kinda apprehensive bout doing camps again after sooooo long! but...on the spur of the moment, promised jason to do! so............. okay, its kinda contradicting actually, i'm excited and yet laid-back at the same time. how do i explain it right?? hmmm...am excited cos its been so long since i do camps, & of course, looking forward to see a huge bunch of kids again! on the other hand, i'm kinda lazy. hafta think of new cheers, pack my bag for camp, head down to sentosa! oh man.
and i dun think i even know a single instructor this upcoming camp, cept jason i guess. HOPE THE KIDS FROM PEIHWA SEC ARE GREAT! better listen to me, or else i make u guys perform lion dance!! hohohoho.
and will they give me the normal tech rowdy bunch of kids again! & rafting- heard from mun need to go into the sea to overlook the safety of those kids.....but!!!!! i can't swim.
nvm, i'll survive. every camp is one good experience learnt!

kayaking next week too! with yan, jee, jean & minh i think! looking forward :)
& tmr is sushi outing with the nydc ppl!
as for derrick, i so need to apologise.

the recent holiday vesak day, went to catch MI3 with darling, his sister, sister bf, lil cousin, another 2 cousin, cousin gf, cousin husband, his friend. yes, yes...ridiculously large grp.
the show was GREAT! I LOVE IT. I DUN CARE WHETHER U LOVE IT OR NOT. BUT I DO!!! hohohohoho. TOM CRUISE IS CHARMING!
but the day is rather disastrous. for HIM directly, n for me indirectly.
long story, dun wish to elaborate. ask me if u're soooo interested :)
anyway after the show, headed down with dar & his fren to some punggol cafe by the river??? its like super nice ambience la!! good food too!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHEE KEONG! there were wine n stufffs. honestly, a lil tipsy that day. .although alcohol intake was so lil :) maybe not tipsy, but a lil heavy-headed.
& guess what, when i reach home arnd midnight with tt "heavy head", gotta stay up till 5am to edit n finalised the bloody report and powerpoint.
after presentation, rushed down to work. i think i m SUPERWOMAN.
but why m i still not sleeping?? cos...i really really wanna blog! n tmr haf no work, its sushi outing!!
thanks to sebas for tt 'booboo' cake. my dad is very happy with his 'booboo' supper just now :D

okok, i need to go search the internet for places to bring Mr special to for his birthday!
adios.

The End. The Start.

2006-05-09T14:09:00.000+08:00

EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!!!
YAYYYYYYY!!!!!! :D
but........one project left on hand. presentation is on this coming saturday.
& we are all so geared up to present la! muahhhahah.
have combined everyone's part together 'cept jeetha's. .be editing the whole report soon. still got many loopholes here & there!
so gan chiong..must make this a good one!
hopefully tmr evrything could be settled when we meet.

& the last exam paper is the easiest of ALL the subjects. keeping my fingers cross XXXXX.
still considering the switch from mkt minor to biz finance minor. not sure if it's too late though.

i really need to get back to editing. tt blur sotong lost his part!!! how can!!!! lost in email??? LOL.
so have to edit n sent him soon.

nur's birthday is on this coming sunday! we (rei, hy, amelia, me n her!) will be eating sushi!!!!!!!!! *drooolllss. so long never eat..think the last time i ate is with derrick! and tt reminds me..will be meeting him soon!!!
hee. i love the holidays la. must get ah hao out, lorraine out. the sw girlies-mich,mun,zhi,yl,gldy. most impt MINGLI!!! miss her lots. and jiao jiao, banny, chuan! but jiao having exam soon :( & hy, jee, jean, minh-LOL, we'll be going kayaking soon!!!!! & & & basketballl!!!! where's piggy seng???? chuan, jackjack!!!! tl too. lifang's birthday..not able to make it most prob..feel so bad :(
n ah wee, daryn, joel, jan they all with jiao of course! shall we go eat some prata or pak so pool or K some songs?? :)
wanna do camps too! initially thought could do jbac camp from 31st to 3 june! but!!!!!! its HIS birthday!! hoho. heng i remember in time..if not....!!!!!!!
heh heh heh. dun i just love the holidays??? :)

and i have to plan plan plannnnnn . for his birthday! where to eat, what to do, what to buy, how to celebrate! big headache!! been considering some places for the past two days..but all seems inappropriate. any suggestions????

yesterday went running!!! damn shiok! after so longggg. kekeke.
ran 12.5 rounds, third lane of the stadium and then i'm dead :(
ihateweakstamina.

got a major headache yest too! & i was damn pissed off with SOMEONE LA!
sleeping was terrible! keep tossing n turning.

okay, i really need to get back to project work. take care people! :)))))))

no one ever come this close to me
& so i'm afraid of how much u can affect me.
i hate the waiting, & the waiting, and again the waiting!
maybe some distance between us would help.

just so i won't get hurt :)

Exam big HU-HA.

2006-05-05T02:10:00.000+08:00

OTD IS FINALLY OVER! woohoo!
one last paper to go: PRICES & MARKET.
left with like 3 days to study. paper's on monday.
& to think tt i have not started revising yet!.since the end of today's paper till now.
well, dun wanna suffer from brain-drain. my brain needs a rest :)

OTD is one hell of a tough subject. and our lecturer is like soooo encouraging with his "closing speech" today. huehue.."hey guys, u survived this subject..u guys studied hard..and this is the kind of qualities that will bring u far in life..." blahblahblah. seriously speaking, i dun noe whether to weep, laugh, or roll-eyes countless times.
i know he meant well though, cos he SEEMS genuinly interested in molding us to be good citizens cum students cum future employees. LOL.
on the contrary, its kinda out-of-point la..beating arnd the bush with diff kinds of language structure. for instance: " i would like to say..." U 'RE ALREADY SAYING LA. SO GET TO THE POINT.
still, its the first time a lecturer ever done tt. and we do appreciate u SHERMAN!! :)

FINE, I'M BORED. & I SO SHOULD NOT PICK ON SHERMAN.
heh heh heh.
just for fun, laugh or watever la.
but seriously, sherman should consider a job in conselling.
he is one CLASSIC GUY. would love him to bits if i'm in his generation.
muahahhaa. JEETHA, hongyan, r u guys sniggering???? I'M SERIOUS OKAY.

shall like slack BIG TIME now.
tmr than start studying :)

U. SIMPLY u.

2006-05-02T00:51:00.000+08:00

can't wait for my next paper!
bout two more days..hohohoho.
sad to say, will miss his mum's and one of his good fren's birthday.
cos of my freaking exam la :(

u loves irritating me!
especially those funny voices thru the phone.
imitating the way i speak!
hang up the phone only when u're done irritating me to the max!
making me wait for ur phone calls, when in fact u had already dozed off like a piggy :)
SHOUTING thru the phone!
chasing me to sleep!
confiscating all my sweets and tidbits!

but still, i wanna THANK U.

for always being there for me.
especially during this trying period.
finding time to accompany me study! yet adorably dozing off :))))
& then waking up to eat fries. and hardly touches what u have to study.
tries ur best to make it up to me, after every argument & everytime u forgotten to call.
for accomodating me.
most importantly, for tolerating me, understanding my weird temperament.

thank u.

& GOD, i have SINNED.
i'm sorry,

Friday-night fever.

2006-04-29T01:56:00.000+08:00

organizational theory is screwing my whole brain system up.
a good relation to the word : CHIM-A-LOGY.
okay, maybe not really tt CHIM! but needs lotsa time to comprehend.
i have to admit though, tt it's somehow interesting, providing a wide perspective to how organizations are run.

darling got a twenty-cents-size wound on his leg!
apparently, he was riding at a very slow speed.
yet, after a corner turn, he's bike is on the floor :X
he said tt the moment he got up, he threw his helmet on the grass and exclaimed: "WHAT THE FUCK". bwahahahahahahhaahahah.
when listening to him said tt, i wanted to laugh out loud man...but i need to be empathetic rite. kekekekeke.
so i resisted the urge to laugh! hohohoho.
but seriously speaking, THANK GOD it was a small wound only!
if not, definitely no mood to study. heh.

TIME IS RUNNING OUT....

Halfway Thru.

2006-04-26T17:37:00.000+08:00

first paper is over! wOooohoo! :)
next-> ORGANIZATIONAL THEORY & DESIGN.

don't wish to get started. sigh.
shall start tonight i guess. like after dinner.
msged limhongyan whether she wanna study @ tp 24hr mac.
hopefully she can! so long never spend time with her lo. heeEeEeeeee.
but then again, she can't really concentrates! every person who walks past, she will take a glance!!! muahahahahaha.

and i really need to rev up my engine again! feeling so lazy. hoho.
watched EIGHT BELOW with darling yest, after my 1st paper.
initially he bought the wrong ticks -Take the lead. muahahahhah. & i haf to ask him like so many times wats the show about (cos i can't find tt movie poster-billboard), before he realise tt HE BOUGHT THE WRONG TICKETS!!! bwahahahaah.
anyway we were allowed to change. phewww! i dunn wanna watch some dance show :X
and we ate like a pig too! had pasta mania- arrabiata spg and magherita! yummmmm.
after tt, we headed to swensen to haf ice-cream! it was a last min decision though.. cos someone wanted cakes despite already eating those tt i bought for him earlier on! so i strongly disallowed can :)))))))

& dear is really irritating yest.
banging into me like so many times!!!
kicking my slipper away like 3 times!!!
tickling me like eh forgot-how=many times!!! and mind-u, its the bones part! can't u tickle the fatssss instead!!!! grrrrrr.
and wat else, accidentally scratching me with tt paper.
& fooling me into throwing his paper-rubbish 2 times!!!!!!!
and grabbing my fingers too tight, almost breaking them i think!
and i nearly trip & fall, thanks to him.
*clap.clap.clap. WONDERFUL AIN'T HE!
irritating, but still very loveable. boohooohooo :D

oh yea, there's this very irritating guy yest.
was stuying @ nyp's foodcourt while waiting for piggy to finish work.
& this guy-a lecturer! sat down beside me and ate his dessert while chatting with another guy la, sitting across him.
and he starts shaking his legs!
u might ask:what's wrong? so kpoh huh?
but the point is:THE WHOLE BENCH IS CONNECTED!
meaning tt when he shakes, the whole bloody bench shakes too.
I FEEL LIKE SOMEONE RIDING ON A HORSE CAN!
& for one freaking hour he shakes non-stop. with occasional 2 SECS rest BEFORE THE SHAKING BEGINS AGAIN!!!
i was damn mad & irritated la.
but apparently he's not aware of how his actions have affected me!
wanted to confront him!
but its a public place man. if i'm not happy i should move right??
but no, silly me endured tt shaking for one hour. constantly consoling myself tt, hey! i get a free horsie ride :)
but really, thinking back, dear said i shld haf let him know la! hahaha.
but its his habit i guess. can't ask him to stop shaking! he'll go mad!! muhahaha.
& i do respect lecturers too :)
so, IT WAS ONE HELL OF A FREAKING SHAKY HORSIE RIDE!

gtg have my dinner! muacks to everyone!!

Exam Commence :)

2006-04-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

tomoro's my first paper!
STAFFING THE ORGANIZATION :)

revision is done, bag is packed, stomach is so full, and sleeping bugs are hovering arnd.
hope all goes well tmr.

& most prob catching a movie tmr nite with HIM :D

and by the way, new catchy song on my blog.
especially for those who fall out of love :X

God Bless U & ME too!

"for man could not do it alone"...
i pray....

There u'll be.

2006-04-23T00:08:00.000+08:00

its really amazing how we could relate our feelings to certain songs. or in fact, all songs.
well, composers are like us; humans with a huge capacity to feel.
even a song like the 'elmo song -this is the song, lalalala...elmo song!' lead me way back to childhood dreams..where eating, playing & sleeping are the norm.
listening to such songs once in while has a tremendous effect on the lightening of one's soul. its reminds me of the times where pink cotton candies reign supreme, where power rangers, barbie dolls, batman, masak-masak are the answers to boredom.

i would say tt i've been blessed; with too many choices for many different kind of toys. thinking back, i din't really cherished wat i had.. simply taking for granted that my parents are rich and cld buy me any toy i want.
in fact, my parents are not. i came from a pretty above average income family and there were times when we're really rich :) but we're really not tt rich after all.
i cld'nt afford gucci, prada and the like. (& trust me i wld'nt buy those even if i have the money!)
u're just buying the name, the high-status that comes with it. people in general are superficial
i wld say. they need superficial things to keep them going. i wld'nt deny tt i'm not. but to a certain extent only. if i'm not, why wld i still buy nike, adidas, levi's product? :)

i guess it's a real world afterall where people judge u on the outside. people tend to be not-so-interested in those who wear really cheap looking clothes, jeans that looks like it comes from their grandfather's generation and hung oh-so-wrongly at the waist. (ever encounter ppl who dresses like tt? i did. and on the inside, though they were a tad weird, but they are much more nicer than many scheming & cunning girls out there. but it was hard, to get them to fit in with the clique tt i was with in the past.)
sigh, its a tough world after all, u have to live up to so many ppl's expectation.
bull-shit to those who says tt they dun really care bout how others see them and what others think about them.
i'm guilty of the latter. okay, i m bull-shiting myself.
cos sometimes when i say i dun care, deep down inside -i do care (maybe a lil, maybe alot, depending on the scenario and most importantly the people involved.)
people in general seek affection and the need for acceptance.

erm, i was talking bout music right???? why have i side-tracked this far??????
oh man. okay back to music :)
.....

but i really need to get back to my revision now!!!!!
so. music next time aight? :))))))

and this is for MR CHENG CHUAN LIM.

in my dreams i always see u soaring above the sky;
in my heart there will always be a place for u,
for all my life.
i keep a part of u with me
and everywhere i am there u'll be.
u teach me how to feel
feel the sky within my reach.
and i'll remember the strength u gave to me

i saw in u my light, my strength.

and i wanna thank u for all those times u were there for me.

u were there for me,
u are there for me.

when u're HAPPY & u know it. CLAP ur hands!

2006-04-21T00:05:00.000+08:00

spent long hours at mac mugging today.

in fact, just reach home not long. hueeehuee.

dear came down to study 2ghter :))))))

wheeeeeeeeee..........

had lotsa unhealthy foodd today too!
fillet burger, frenchfries, yogurt & green tea(the only healthy stuffs), potato chips,
gummy sweets! cheese cracker, peanut cracker.

gone r horiible mood swings.

i m A HAPPY GIRL!

easily pleased. only with u arnd.
see how much u affect me ????
hohohohohohohohohoh.

time for some 'sleeping time'!

left with topics: compensation benefits, rewards......tt's all. :)

Agony.

2006-04-20T00:50:00.000+08:00

i feel like crap.

all this studying is making me feel like shit, isolated and wanting to find fault with people arnd me.

i hate myself for this. i hate being extremely emotional & sensitive.
esp so during the exams period.

my head feels giddy. i just wanna doze off. but i know i can't, i can't, i can't.....

maybe i put too much stress on myself. wateva.

still got bout 3 more topics to cover. the reason why i'm in the rush to cover so many topics before hand is bcos: i dun wanna do last min study!
i'm sick of the stress, the anxiety.

i've got like one huge emotional baggage to carry. ALONE.
i know i've got really good frens who will be willing to share tt baggage.
but, i can't.
not tt i dun wanna share. but its hard.
its me. i'm weird.
sometimes i love isolation, yet sometimes i abhor it.
i'm a big contradiction. a big laughing joke.

as for him, he's terribly busy at work and swimming and dive and i-dun-know-wat-else.
we r seeing each other so infrequently.
maybe someone cld educate my boyfren on some TIME MGMT skills?
he's so tired everyday too. it really bothers me.
as for sharing tt emotional baggage with him? highly unlikely. he's tooo far away :)
perhaps i shld just give up on us.
leave things the way it is.
and waits for tt big word: STAGNATION!

tears are my consolation.

i shld just disappear. .into a thousand, million, fragmented pieces.

(dun ask me wats wrong. i'm just having one of those horrible mood swings.)

Addictions.

2006-04-18T21:24:00.001+08:00

Food, Food & more Food.
It is simply my ADDICTION now!
lets see...look at the amount of cravings i have :)
mac frenchfries! with the new seaweed seasoning..
mac spicy double!!!(best eaten with sweet chilli and mayo)
yakun kaya toast!
delifrance chix mayo slwich!!
elmer fudge and oreo c/c from nydc!
lays sour cream chips! the biggg biggg pkt !
nachos & cheese
white kitkats small size bites
carbonara spg
popcorns from the movie
bratwurst sausages
koko crunch, honeystars, colourful loops
the nice chewy mint sweets
ferrero rocher
kfc cheese fries.
tt vegetarian curry & chix
strawberry, banana, pandan cake
white terigu
ice kachang
durian!
long john fries
oreo sundae from mac
the street selliing ice cream

oh Goodness. i better stop here. only some of the cravings have been fulfilled SO FAR, the rest will be fulfilled within this mugging period! hohohoho.
put me in a room with all those food mentioned above, with a bed and a tv.
and i tell u, I M A HAPPY GIRL :))))
after consuming all those food, i'll happily lie down on my bed and doze off... ZzZzZzz.

hmmm..this is call finding heaven on earth. Lol. or rather not quite...one last thing is to PUT MR CHENG into tt room too. muahahahahahh.

okay. i'm quite mad. but i seriously need to eat more. i weigh myself 3 times on 3 diff weighing machines at watson (ah hao's idea =p ). and it reads 50 KG!!!!! its hardly possible. end up i dint buy tt weighing machine. kinda hard to trust.

so i must eat MORE now!! i dun wanna become a skeleton (50 kg at 169cm is kinda frightening). & darling likes me FAT. rite? :)
so i must eatmoreeatmoreeatmoreeatmoreeatmoreeatmoreeatmoreeatmore.............